Quote

Listening to Evanescence makes me want to break up with a girl in real time as a giant antique hourglass falls to the floor in slow motion.

Dane Cook

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Time
Falls
Evanescence
Slow
Hourglass
Listening
Antique
Break
Antiques
Girl
Giant
Fall
Giants
Makes
Motion
Real
Floor

More quotes by Dane Cook

Image
Even when I go to a salad bar, I need to feel like I'm one of the first people there.
Dane Cook
Image
Hi, I'm a buck tooth and I like to be outside past the lips.
Dane Cook
Image
My mom and dad passed away from cancer. Within nine months, I lost both of my folks. Immediately after that, I had a horrible betrayal where my brother, who worked for me, stole a lot of my money. He's in jail now.
Dane Cook
Image
You have to learn the crowd. I just pay attention to them so I can make sure I can make them laugh.
Dane Cook
Image
I would love to have acidy spit.
Dane Cook
Image
Sometimes, when a person gains a lot of success at a very young age, they become targets, and it's really easy to follow the crowds and not make independent decisions based on truly how you feel.
Dane Cook
Image
If you take a negative, turn it inside out, it's still a negative. You're just revealing the ugly inside of negative so I say keep it as is.
Dane Cook
Image
I don't hate anyone. I simply block them out using hellish visions in a blind white rage. But if I see them out I'm pleasant.
Dane Cook
Image
Are there glass shards in my anus?!
Dane Cook
Image
A lot of comics are kind of vampire types we do our shows and disappear into the night. My philosophy was, this is like politics, and if I want people to know about my campaign, I'm going to go out there and shake hands.
Dane Cook
Image
There's estrogen running through my veins!
Dane Cook
Image
I'm not racist, I've got a black president.
Dane Cook
Image
Jim Norton and Harland Williams always make me laugh.
Dane Cook
Image
I like to play guitar, jam out, play the blues, go watch movies. I love movies.
Dane Cook
Image
Comedy is immediate. Comedy is a solo mission. You're all by yourself, up there. And when you're in a film, on a set, it's a collaborative effort. It's about me being a tool for somebody else to create a story and a character from nothing, from their imagination.
Dane Cook
Image
When you're on a movie set and you are hopefully making a comedy, everyone's stifling their laughter. You're looking at the crew guys, hoping someone is making that face like, and not like, this is not working out, man.
Dane Cook
Image
If haters or whatever want to find you - I mean, some of them are so tenacious. You want to hire them to work for you. Theyre very, very savvy in terms of how they find you and get to you.
Dane Cook
Image
When you are doing stand-up comedy, you are the writer, producer, director, sometimes bouncer.
Dane Cook
Image
I say God bless you... I don't say bless you... I'm not the Lord. I can't do that...
Dane Cook
Image
That MySpace is the story of the year. Everyone but my mother is on it.
Dane Cook