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I could take my time, and nobody was pressuring me to be a headliner. I could go up there, find my voice, and figure out what I wanted to do.

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Find
Wanted
Take
Pressuring
Time
Headliner
Figure
Figures
Nobody
Voice

More quotes by Dane Cook

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The whole thing with comedy is that you are always in control. Writer, director, actor, producer, and sometimes bouncer. And you are just a piece of their puzzle.
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If you live far away from a person you no longer want to date just let them know that they are geographically undesirable.
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You are the director of your own life story. Don't cast idiots or people will walk out during your 2nd act.
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I can't do anything! I can't even have an English muffin!
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I once overheard the sweetest old woman behind me on a train tell her adorable old husband as he scoffed down a ham sandwich she had brought along, If you ever yell at me to stop bringing a ham sandwich with me every where we go again? Next time I'm bringing a gun. And I'm blowing your God damn head off.
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I can't watch a woman play with herself - to me, it looks like a DJ working the turntables... DJ Diddles.
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It really drives me banana sangwich.
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People know I have a good time on stage. I love my life. I love my job.
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When you get hit by a car sometimes your shoes will fly off, sometimes your pants will come off, but I was not fortunate enough to see the pants portion.
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Even when I go to a salad bar, I need to feel like I'm one of the first people there.
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We all hope for breakthrough rebirth moments.
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I'm focused on staying as healthy as I can so I can work more.
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I'm a deep thinker when it comes to shallow no brainers.
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I think beating someone to death with a ukulele would just sound funny.
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I'm quitting the business today. I'm going to open up an appliance store, I've always really been into toasters. I'm giving it all up.
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Three weeks ago one of my dreams came true. I finally got to see something I always wanted to witness live. I finally saw someone get hit by a car... Nailed!
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When I'm wrong I'm like the Emperor on the Death Star thinking he'll turn Luke. Yet, when I'm right I'm a Jedi like my father before me.
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I always thought that if I got no love at all early in my standup career, or I was god awful, I thought I'd get into psychology.
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That MySpace is the story of the year. Everyone but my mother is on it.
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I live my life like there's no yesterday.
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