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A couple of days back, I got into a car accident. Not my fault. Even if it's not your fault, the other person gets out of their car and looks at you like it's your fault: Why did you stop at a red light and let me hit you doing 80!

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Persons
Red
Back
Faults
Person
Car
Looks
Couple
Even
Gets
Like
Days
Accident
Stop
Fault
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Accidents

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They used to beat me up after Sunday School, I used to get beat up... yeah, that's a nice little thank you from Jesus.
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When you're on a movie set and you are hopefully making a comedy, everyone's stifling their laughter. You're looking at the crew guys, hoping someone is making that face like, and not like, this is not working out, man.
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There's always someone in every group of friends that nobody likes.
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Why do bad guys in movies always love to whistle really slowly?
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Are there glass shards in my anus?!
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When I'm looking for hot button answers to tough questions, I don't look to congressman or my mayor. I say, 'What would Miss U.S.A. have to say about this?'
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When somebody says I wouldn't change a thing they're thinking of something they would change.
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When I'm wrong I'm like the Emperor on the Death Star thinking he'll turn Luke. Yet, when I'm right I'm a Jedi like my father before me.
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I think that people who do enjoy my stand-up comedy and the people who get it and the people who are taken in by it, they see that I'm a guy that has love of the game.
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I'm shooting a pilot based on my show. It's a one-camera show. I play myself.
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I get so into the moment.
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It's not for any purpose such as religion, health, or things like that, I just never felt I had the need or want to drink or do drugs.
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I was doing comedy in laundry mats in 1992, literally where I would bring a little gorilla amp and a lapel mike and just start performing.
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Any guy that refers to dating women as the hunt or being on the prowl should be evaluated for a number of conditions.
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Quote/Unquote and you can quote me on the quote/unquote.
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There were times, earlier in my career, where I didn't have the wherewithal to self-edit, and I probably said things and pushed the limits to places where people might be put off. But that's truly part of developing as an artist.
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I have new ideas every day, and I always want to take on new challenges.
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I've been ignoring my feelings lately. That works pretty well. Might also settle for less this week, just to try it out.
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I would love to have acidy spit.
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