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I can't watch a woman play with herself - to me, it looks like a DJ working the turntables... DJ Diddles.

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Working
Woman
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I live my life like there's no yesterday.
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When someone's running late through an airport, I hope they miss their flight so they can meet the love of their life at the duty free shop.
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Why do bad guys in movies always love to whistle really slowly?
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My mom and dad passed away from cancer. Within nine months, I lost both of my folks. Immediately after that, I had a horrible betrayal where my brother, who worked for me, stole a lot of my money. He's in jail now.
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You have to have a strong sense of humor to date me, and also know that you're probably going to be a part of the routine quite a bit.
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There was a girl I loved in high school - but never spoke to. Cut to my five-year reunion: I'm an entirely different person.
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A lot of comics are kind of vampire types we do our shows and disappear into the night. My philosophy was, this is like politics, and if I want people to know about my campaign, I'm going to go out there and shake hands.
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I say God bless you... I don't say bless you... I'm not the Lord. I can't do that...
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There's estrogen running through my veins!
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When people refer to 'Back in the Day,' it was a Wednesday. Just a little fun fact for you.
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I love being on stage if I'm not on a set. If I'm at home, I'm usually in my office editing or reconstructing my website or whatever it may be. I just love putting creativity into a performance.
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I always thought that if I got no love at all early in my standup career, or I was god awful, I thought I'd get into psychology.
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There's always someone in every group of friends that nobody likes.
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Nothing is a better icebreaker than a great joke.
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I've lived (in LA) for so long, I don't even know what is real and what isn't anymore.
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If you're drunk please don't drive. If you're on shrooms please don't think Walmart's a prison for bad clothing that needs help escaping.
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I get so into the moment.
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If my voice can resonate that way with kids, maybe it will resonate through 'Planes' as well, and they'll hear that little something that I'm giving to them, a performance that says to them, I want to try. It's all interconnected. I don't think it's thinking too deeply about it.
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I could take my time, and nobody was pressuring me to be a headliner. I could go up there, find my voice, and figure out what I wanted to do.
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You know your gut instincts are spot on about a person when you can also detect a water source in the soil beneath them.
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