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I can't watch a woman play with herself - to me, it looks like a DJ working the turntables... DJ Diddles.

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
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Woman
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More quotes by Dane Cook

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There's estrogen running through my veins!
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Here's how you know that you're really drunk: when you get into a taxi cab and you think the fare is the time.
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When people refer to 'Back in the Day,' it was a Wednesday. Just a little fun fact for you.
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I just get excited doing shows. Off stage I am actually very feeble and must be spoon-fed because my hands are too brittle.
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I saw a young boy eating an ice cream cone, ... I smashed it in his face. You know that kid is going to remember me when he's 50.
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I'm focused on staying as healthy as I can so I can work more.
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You are the director of your own life story. Don't cast idiots or people will walk out during your 2nd act.
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I'm always going to be someone that people enjoy watching.
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I was home educated but would skip my lessons to go hang out at school.
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Every joke has its origin - the punching people in the face joke. It hurts like hell to get punched in the face.
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Losing my mind sounds so pessimistic. I prefer the term winning my insanity.
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When you get hit by a car sometimes your shoes will fly off, sometimes your pants will come off, but I was not fortunate enough to see the pants portion.
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You know your gut instincts are spot on about a person when you can also detect a water source in the soil beneath them.
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When you're not in love, when you don't have love, everybody you know falls in love.
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Quote/Unquote and you can quote me on the quote/unquote.
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I have new ideas every day, and I always want to take on new challenges.
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I have faith in all mankind. Well,not faith really, more like hopeful suspicion. And not all but 5 people. Mankind meaning computers.
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I always thought that if I got no love at all early in my standup career, or I was god awful, I thought I'd get into psychology.
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That MySpace is the story of the year. Everyone but my mother is on it.
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I say God bless you... I don't say bless you... I'm not the Lord. I can't do that...
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