Quote

I can't watch a woman play with herself - to me, it looks like a DJ working the turntables... DJ Diddles.

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
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Like
Turntables
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Working
Woman
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More quotes by Dane Cook

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I can do more than just stand-up comedy, and the only way I'll be able to show that is if I do it myself. Because nobody trusts that I can do it.
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I have a new saying, what I see in Vegas, I am telling everybody.
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That MySpace is the story of the year. Everyone but my mother is on it.
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Ma'am, are you trying to molest me via drivethru?
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When you're on a movie set and you are hopefully making a comedy, everyone's stifling their laughter. You're looking at the crew guys, hoping someone is making that face like, and not like, this is not working out, man.
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If you take a negative, turn it inside out, it's still a negative. You're just revealing the ugly inside of negative so I say keep it as is.
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I'm not giving up on life. I'm giving up on today.
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The whole thing with comedy is that you are always in control. Writer, director, actor, producer, and sometimes bouncer. And you are just a piece of their puzzle.
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I was told by a girl once that I should teach a course on how to kiss properly. I thought that was really a nice compliment. I then asked her what she thought about my sexual prowess and she recommended I talk to a guy she used to date. Body blow.
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I've been ignoring my feelings lately. That works pretty well. Might also settle for less this week, just to try it out.
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I just get excited doing shows. Off stage I am actually very feeble and must be spoon-fed because my hands are too brittle.
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You can easily tell if a person is lying and cheating on you if they say, I love you. I would never lie to you or cheat on you.
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Losing my mind sounds so pessimistic. I prefer the term winning my insanity.
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I don't laugh out loud at comics a lot.
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When I'm wrong I'm like the Emperor on the Death Star thinking he'll turn Luke. Yet, when I'm right I'm a Jedi like my father before me.
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I'm shooting a pilot based on my show. It's a one-camera show. I play myself.
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Pain only hurts when you are looking for a reason to quit. You don't feel a thing when you know you can still win.
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I am an observer, I like to watch people. I am into psychology and people - how they act and such.
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They used to beat me up after Sunday School, I used to get beat up... yeah, that's a nice little thank you from Jesus.
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On stage I am the actor, director and the bouncer all at the same time. Fear does not exist in this dojo does it? No Sensi! Sorry when I get excited I have to toss in some Karate Kid quotes.
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