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I can't watch a woman play with herself - to me, it looks like a DJ working the turntables... DJ Diddles.

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
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Turntables
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Working
Woman

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Valentine's Day is a time to celebrate the joy of being in love. Unless you're single & lonely then it's called Laundry Day.
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I've been ignoring my feelings lately. That works pretty well. Might also settle for less this week, just to try it out.
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I can smell bullshit from a mile away but it's so much harder to detect when it's around you all day.
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I feel like I was born and bred to stay self-motivated. I'm not one of those people who ho-hums and feels sorry for himself when something's bad.
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Sometimes sex is just a way to escape having to talk to that person.
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Any guy that refers to dating women as the hunt or being on the prowl should be evaluated for a number of conditions.
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It really drives me banana sangwich.
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I was home educated but would skip my lessons to go hang out at school.
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When somebody says I wouldn't change a thing they're thinking of something they would change.
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I don't laugh out loud at comics a lot.
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I would love to have acidy spit.
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I could take my time, and nobody was pressuring me to be a headliner. I could go up there, find my voice, and figure out what I wanted to do.
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Nice teeth is a turn on for me. If you open your mouth and it looks like a battle of epic proportions, I don't like it.
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I've lived (in LA) for so long, I don't even know what is real and what isn't anymore.
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I'm a deep thinker when it comes to shallow no brainers.
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I can't do anything! I can't even have an English muffin!
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That MySpace is the story of the year. Everyone but my mother is on it.
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I'm quitting the business today. I'm going to open up an appliance store, I've always really been into toasters. I'm giving it all up.
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Jim Norton and Harland Williams always make me laugh.
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If you're drunk please don't drive. If you're on shrooms please don't think Walmart's a prison for bad clothing that needs help escaping.
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