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You are the director of your own life story. Don't cast idiots or people will walk out during your 2nd act.

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Story
Idiots
Stories
Cast
Life
Idiot
People
Casts
Director
Directors
Walk
Walks

More quotes by Dane Cook

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I think beating someone to death with a ukulele would just sound funny.
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Any guy that refers to dating women as the hunt or being on the prowl should be evaluated for a number of conditions.
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Nothing is a better icebreaker than a great joke.
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I don't hate anyone. I simply block them out using hellish visions in a blind white rage. But if I see them out I'm pleasant.
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It's not for any purpose such as religion, health, or things like that, I just never felt I had the need or want to drink or do drugs.
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I say God bless you... I don't say bless you... I'm not the Lord. I can't do that...
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Jim Norton and Harland Williams always make me laugh.
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I like to play guitar, jam out, play the blues, go watch movies. I love movies.
Dane Cook
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I can't do anything! I can't even have an English muffin!
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On stage I am the actor, director and the bouncer all at the same time. Fear does not exist in this dojo does it? No Sensi! Sorry when I get excited I have to toss in some Karate Kid quotes.
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You have to realize, when you're a comedian, that you have to have a thick skin. And trust me, being onstage in front of people is already difficult enough. Somebody's personal attack in an email is not as hard as getting onstage.
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Strip clubs are great places to meet interesting people you only wanna know for about 40 minutes.
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When you're not in love, when you don't have love, everybody you know falls in love.
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I love singing along to the radio while I'm riding in the back of a squad car.
Dane Cook
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When you don't have love, it's like there's a party going on, and everybody was invited, except for you. And you just happened to be walking by that house in the rain...
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I've lived (in LA) for so long, I don't even know what is real and what isn't anymore.
Dane Cook
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When I'm looking for hot button answers to tough questions, I don't look to congressman or my mayor. I say, 'What would Miss U.S.A. have to say about this?'
Dane Cook
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Even when I go to a salad bar, I need to feel like I'm one of the first people there.
Dane Cook
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You have to learn the crowd. I just pay attention to them so I can make sure I can make them laugh.
Dane Cook
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I have faith in all mankind. Well,not faith really, more like hopeful suspicion. And not all but 5 people. Mankind meaning computers.
Dane Cook