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You are the director of your own life story. Don't cast idiots or people will walk out during your 2nd act.

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Directors
Walk
Walks
Story
Idiots
Stories
Cast
Life
Idiot
People
Casts
Director

More quotes by Dane Cook

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I am an observer, I like to watch people. I am into psychology and people - how they act and such.
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I would love to have acidy spit.
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Strip clubs are great places to meet interesting people you only wanna know for about 40 minutes.
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A lot of comics are kind of vampire types we do our shows and disappear into the night. My philosophy was, this is like politics, and if I want people to know about my campaign, I'm going to go out there and shake hands.
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I'm always going to be someone that people enjoy watching.
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Sometimes, when a person gains a lot of success at a very young age, they become targets, and it's really easy to follow the crowds and not make independent decisions based on truly how you feel.
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You have to have a strong sense of humor to date me, and also know that you're probably going to be a part of the routine quite a bit.
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It's not for any purpose such as religion, health, or things like that, I just never felt I had the need or want to drink or do drugs.
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When people refer to 'Back in the Day,' it was a Wednesday. Just a little fun fact for you.
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Ma'am, are you trying to molest me via drivethru?
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If my voice can resonate that way with kids, maybe it will resonate through 'Planes' as well, and they'll hear that little something that I'm giving to them, a performance that says to them, I want to try. It's all interconnected. I don't think it's thinking too deeply about it.
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I live my life like there's no yesterday.
Dane Cook
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They used to beat me up after Sunday School, I used to get beat up... yeah, that's a nice little thank you from Jesus.
Dane Cook
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When you swear to God, its true ... right now God is watching and saying, this is true.
Dane Cook
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Video games don't make people go nuts. I played Super Mario forever. Not once hopping on a turtle or smash my head through a brick ceiling.
Dane Cook
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There were times, earlier in my career, where I didn't have the wherewithal to self-edit, and I probably said things and pushed the limits to places where people might be put off. But that's truly part of developing as an artist.
Dane Cook
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I love being on stage if I'm not on a set. If I'm at home, I'm usually in my office editing or reconstructing my website or whatever it may be. I just love putting creativity into a performance.
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Here's how you know that you're really drunk: when you get into a taxi cab and you think the fare is the time.
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I was doing comedy in laundry mats in 1992, literally where I would bring a little gorilla amp and a lapel mike and just start performing.
Dane Cook
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When you hand someone a camera, why do they act like you just asked them to dissemble a bomb? They take it and they're like, 'What do I do ... I don't really ... ha-huh ...' Yeah, it's the button on the top right where it always is since the beginning of #*@! time!
Dane Cook