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You are the director of your own life story. Don't cast idiots or people will walk out during your 2nd act.

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Walk
Walks
Story
Idiots
Stories
Cast
Life
Idiot
People
Casts
Director
Directors

More quotes by Dane Cook

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I won't take no for a question.
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I'm not racist, I've got a black president.
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I'm curious by individuals that embrace half a story so they can justify how incomplete they feel about their own self worth.
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When people refer to 'Back in the Day,' it was a Wednesday. Just a little fun fact for you.
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It's hard dealing with day to day disappointments and feeling like you can't find success. Especially when your best friend is Pixar.
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If you think your demeanor is mellow or not particularly charismatic, the material can life you higher. So write everyday, and get onstage or in a coffee shop where they are doing open mice, anywhere you can perform even if that means starting your own open mic night - and be your own self.
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Sometimes sex is just a way to escape having to talk to that person.
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You know your gut instincts are spot on about a person when you can also detect a water source in the soil beneath them.
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Pain only hurts when you are looking for a reason to quit. You don't feel a thing when you know you can still win.
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When somebody says I wouldn't change a thing they're thinking of something they would change.
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It's amazing how dumb people can impress you with how much stupider they can be when they really assert themselves.
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I think beating someone to death with a ukulele would just sound funny.
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Listening to Evanescence makes me want to break up with a girl in real time as a giant antique hourglass falls to the floor in slow motion.
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I was very good at kickball ... I was wonderful at ah doing that kick and your leg goes up and your shoe went on top of the school
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My professional dreams were coming true while I was living a personal nightmare.
Dane Cook
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Quote/Unquote and you can quote me on the quote/unquote.
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Losing my mind sounds so pessimistic. I prefer the term winning my insanity.
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Valentine's Day is a time to celebrate the joy of being in love. Unless you're single & lonely then it's called Laundry Day.
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I don't have to do anything for anyone else's benefit anymore. I just want to exceed my own expectations.
Dane Cook
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On stage I am the actor, director and the bouncer all at the same time. Fear does not exist in this dojo does it? No Sensi! Sorry when I get excited I have to toss in some Karate Kid quotes.
Dane Cook