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You are the director of your own life story. Don't cast idiots or people will walk out during your 2nd act.

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
People
Casts
Director
Directors
Walk
Walks
Story
Idiots
Stories
Cast
Life
Idiot

More quotes by Dane Cook

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Listening to Evanescence makes me want to break up with a girl in real time as a giant antique hourglass falls to the floor in slow motion.
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I'm a deep thinker when it comes to shallow no brainers.
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I'm focused on staying as healthy as I can so I can work more.
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You need to open up your soul and have a weep-a-thon.
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I love being on stage if I'm not on a set. If I'm at home, I'm usually in my office editing or reconstructing my website or whatever it may be. I just love putting creativity into a performance.
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I love hecklers. They remind you that you are a comedian.
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Pain only hurts when you are looking for a reason to quit. You don't feel a thing when you know you can still win.
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I am going to name a group of my kids after my favorite cartoons, I am going to name them after Transformers.
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You know your gut instincts are spot on about a person when you can also detect a water source in the soil beneath them.
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I'm always going to be someone that people enjoy watching.
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There's estrogen running through my veins!
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When you swear to God, its true ... right now God is watching and saying, this is true.
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Sometimes, when you want to make a difference in a person's life, stay out of it.
Dane Cook
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I can't do anything! I can't even have an English muffin!
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When you hand someone a camera, why do they act like you just asked them to dissemble a bomb? They take it and they're like, 'What do I do ... I don't really ... ha-huh ...' Yeah, it's the button on the top right where it always is since the beginning of #*@! time!
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When you're on a movie set and you are hopefully making a comedy, everyone's stifling their laughter. You're looking at the crew guys, hoping someone is making that face like, and not like, this is not working out, man.
Dane Cook
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I say God bless you... I don't say bless you... I'm not the Lord. I can't do that...
Dane Cook
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It's not for any purpose such as religion, health, or things like that, I just never felt I had the need or want to drink or do drugs.
Dane Cook
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If my voice can resonate that way with kids, maybe it will resonate through 'Planes' as well, and they'll hear that little something that I'm giving to them, a performance that says to them, I want to try. It's all interconnected. I don't think it's thinking too deeply about it.
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I have never even had a sip of alcohol, never have done drugs. The hardest thing I have ever done would be Pepsi.
Dane Cook