Quote

You can easily tell if a person is lying and cheating on you if they say, I love you. I would never lie to you or cheat on you.

Dane Cook

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Easily
Lying
Tell
Persons
Person
Never
Would
Cheating
Love
Cheat

More quotes by Dane Cook

Image
We all hope for breakthrough rebirth moments.
Dane Cook
Image
That MySpace is the story of the year. Everyone but my mother is on it.
Dane Cook
Image
If you have to be at work at 8, it's always like, 7:54. Just enough time to do nothing. To just lay there and go, I can't do anything! I can't even have an English muffin!
Dane Cook
Image
I always thought that if I got no love at all early in my standup career, or I was god awful, I thought I'd get into psychology.
Dane Cook
Image
Text a guy you like right now, I'm thinking about you. If he says, mmm are you in bed? Never speak to him again he's a lifelong moron.
Dane Cook
Image
Sometimes, when you want to make a difference in a person's life, stay out of it.
Dane Cook
Image
I am an observer, I like to watch people. I am into psychology and people - how they act and such.
Dane Cook
Image
I always wanted to be a snake. Every time I saw a snake on TV. I'd always say 'Why not me?'
Dane Cook
Image
When you get hit by a car sometimes your shoes will fly off, sometimes your pants will come off, but I was not fortunate enough to see the pants portion.
Dane Cook
Image
I can do more than just stand-up comedy, and the only way I'll be able to show that is if I do it myself. Because nobody trusts that I can do it.
Dane Cook
Image
There were times, earlier in my career, where I didn't have the wherewithal to self-edit, and I probably said things and pushed the limits to places where people might be put off. But that's truly part of developing as an artist.
Dane Cook
Image
Every joke has its origin - the punching people in the face joke. It hurts like hell to get punched in the face.
Dane Cook
Image
I love hecklers. They remind you that you are a comedian.
Dane Cook
Image
Let's talk a little about love. Sometimes you meet somebody and you have what is known as a relationship and things can go great. If things go great you have a great relationship. Sometimes it doesn't go so great and I call that a relationshit!
Dane Cook
Image
My mom and dad passed away from cancer. Within nine months, I lost both of my folks. Immediately after that, I had a horrible betrayal where my brother, who worked for me, stole a lot of my money. He's in jail now.
Dane Cook
Image
I can't watch a woman play with herself - to me, it looks like a DJ working the turntables... DJ Diddles.
Dane Cook
Image
Quote/Unquote and you can quote me on the quote/unquote.
Dane Cook
Image
Ex-girlfriends will find themselves in my new routine. Sometimes they like that, and sometimes they definitely do not. But comedians should come with a giant warning or disclaimer: IF YOU DATE ME, IT WILL BE IN MY ACT.
Dane Cook
Image
I once overheard the sweetest old woman behind me on a train tell her adorable old husband as he scoffed down a ham sandwich she had brought along, If you ever yell at me to stop bringing a ham sandwich with me every where we go again? Next time I'm bringing a gun. And I'm blowing your God damn head off.
Dane Cook
Image
Dear semi hot girl taking photos on a boat. It's not your boat so stop acting like you own it. You drive a used Civic.
Dane Cook