Quote

You can easily tell if a person is lying and cheating on you if they say, I love you. I would never lie to you or cheat on you.

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Persons
Person
Never
Cheating
Would
Cheat
Love
Easily
Lying
Tell

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I think beating someone to death with a ukulele would just sound funny.
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I was home educated but would skip my lessons to go hang out at school.
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I always wanted to be a snake. Every time I saw a snake on TV. I'd always say 'Why not me?'
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Listening to Evanescence makes me want to break up with a girl in real time as a giant antique hourglass falls to the floor in slow motion.
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Dear semi hot girl taking photos on a boat. It's not your boat so stop acting like you own it. You drive a used Civic.
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I'm always going to be someone that people enjoy watching.
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I was doing comedy in laundry mats in 1992, literally where I would bring a little gorilla amp and a lapel mike and just start performing.
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There were times, earlier in my career, where I didn't have the wherewithal to self-edit, and I probably said things and pushed the limits to places where people might be put off. But that's truly part of developing as an artist.
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I have never even had a sip of alcohol, never have done drugs. The hardest thing I have ever done would be Pepsi.
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When someone's running late through an airport, I hope they miss their flight so they can meet the love of their life at the duty free shop.
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Every joke has its origin - the punching people in the face joke. It hurts like hell to get punched in the face.
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I don't have to do anything for anyone else's benefit anymore. I just want to exceed my own expectations.
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I'm curious by individuals that embrace half a story so they can justify how incomplete they feel about their own self worth.
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A lot of comics are kind of vampire types we do our shows and disappear into the night. My philosophy was, this is like politics, and if I want people to know about my campaign, I'm going to go out there and shake hands.
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I always thought that if I got no love at all early in my standup career, or I was god awful, I thought I'd get into psychology.
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If my voice can resonate that way with kids, maybe it will resonate through 'Planes' as well, and they'll hear that little something that I'm giving to them, a performance that says to them, I want to try. It's all interconnected. I don't think it's thinking too deeply about it.
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I'm focused on staying as healthy as I can so I can work more.
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Sometimes, when you want to make a difference in a person's life, stay out of it.
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You know your girls up to no good when her and her friends make a pact to post nothing on Instagram.
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You need to open up your soul and have a weep-a-thon.
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