Quote

You can easily tell if a person is lying and cheating on you if they say, I love you. I would never lie to you or cheat on you.

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Would
Cheating
Love
Cheat
Easily
Lying
Tell
Persons
Person
Never

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I was not a silly kid or outgoing. In fact, I suffered from quite a bit of anxiety. I used to have panic attacks when I was a teenager, really incapacitating moments, because I had some phobias.
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There's estrogen running through my veins!
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When you're not in love, when you don't have love, everybody you know falls in love.
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When you don't have love, it's like there's a party going on, and everybody was invited, except for you. And you just happened to be walking by that house in the rain...
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When you see somebody walking down the street wearing a Superman t-shirt, you just want to shoot them in the chest ... when they start to bleed go, I guess not
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I can do more than just stand-up comedy, and the only way I'll be able to show that is if I do it myself. Because nobody trusts that I can do it.
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Sometimes, when you want to make a difference in a person's life, stay out of it.
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I miss dating only for that final moment you kiss goodnight, watch her get out of your car and run into the police station.
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I once overheard the sweetest old woman behind me on a train tell her adorable old husband as he scoffed down a ham sandwich she had brought along, If you ever yell at me to stop bringing a ham sandwich with me every where we go again? Next time I'm bringing a gun. And I'm blowing your God damn head off.
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Every joke has its origin - the punching people in the face joke. It hurts like hell to get punched in the face.
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When people refer to 'Back in the Day,' it was a Wednesday. Just a little fun fact for you.
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I could take my time, and nobody was pressuring me to be a headliner. I could go up there, find my voice, and figure out what I wanted to do.
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When someone's running late through an airport, I hope they miss their flight so they can meet the love of their life at the duty free shop.
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I always thought that if I got no love at all early in my standup career, or I was god awful, I thought I'd get into psychology.
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I was very good at kickball ... I was wonderful at ah doing that kick and your leg goes up and your shoe went on top of the school
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Nothing is a better icebreaker than a great joke.
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Sometimes sex is just a way to escape having to talk to that person.
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That MySpace is the story of the year. Everyone but my mother is on it.
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If you're drunk please don't drive. If you're on shrooms please don't think Walmart's a prison for bad clothing that needs help escaping.
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Vince Vaughn is a genuine person, awesome guy. He'll come to a lot of my shows. It's not that often that you can meet someone as cool as Vince.
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