Quote

It's amazing how dumb people can impress you with how much stupider they can be when they really assert themselves.

Dane Cook

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
People
Stupider
Assert
Impress
Dumb
Amazing
Much
Really

More quotes by Dane Cook

Image
When I first hit the scene, it was just a lot of go, go, go, go, go. I have a lot of natural energy anyway, but it was over the top.
Dane Cook
Image
Nice teeth is a turn on for me. If you open your mouth and it looks like a battle of epic proportions, I don't like it.
Dane Cook
Image
I have new ideas every day, and I always want to take on new challenges.
Dane Cook
Image
Nothing is a better icebreaker than a great joke.
Dane Cook
Image
Hi, I'm a buck tooth and I like to be outside past the lips.
Dane Cook
Image
I would love to have acidy spit.
Dane Cook
Image
I'm shooting a pilot based on my show. It's a one-camera show. I play myself.
Dane Cook
Image
Ex-girlfriends will find themselves in my new routine. Sometimes they like that, and sometimes they definitely do not. But comedians should come with a giant warning or disclaimer: IF YOU DATE ME, IT WILL BE IN MY ACT.
Dane Cook
Image
I don't laugh out loud at comics a lot.
Dane Cook
Image
I once overheard the sweetest old woman behind me on a train tell her adorable old husband as he scoffed down a ham sandwich she had brought along, If you ever yell at me to stop bringing a ham sandwich with me every where we go again? Next time I'm bringing a gun. And I'm blowing your God damn head off.
Dane Cook
Image
I saw a young boy eating an ice cream cone, ... I smashed it in his face. You know that kid is going to remember me when he's 50.
Dane Cook
Image
I won't take no for a question.
Dane Cook
Image
You know your girls up to no good when her and her friends make a pact to post nothing on Instagram.
Dane Cook
Image
I think that people who do enjoy my stand-up comedy and the people who get it and the people who are taken in by it, they see that I'm a guy that has love of the game.
Dane Cook
Image
If you have to be at work at 8, it's always like, 7:54. Just enough time to do nothing. To just lay there and go, I can't do anything! I can't even have an English muffin!
Dane Cook
Image
Are there glass shards in my anus?!
Dane Cook
Image
Text a guy you like right now, I'm thinking about you. If he says, mmm are you in bed? Never speak to him again he's a lifelong moron.
Dane Cook
Image
Why do bad guys in movies always love to whistle really slowly?
Dane Cook
Image
I was being chased by a giant crab. That's not funny.
Dane Cook
Image
I don't know if I could rebuild an airplane engine, but I know a little bit about rotors and rivets.
Dane Cook