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It's amazing how dumb people can impress you with how much stupider they can be when they really assert themselves.

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Amazing
Much
Really
People
Stupider
Assert
Impress
Dumb

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I miss dating only for that final moment you kiss goodnight, watch her get out of your car and run into the police station.
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If haters or whatever want to find you - I mean, some of them are so tenacious. You want to hire them to work for you. Theyre very, very savvy in terms of how they find you and get to you.
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That MySpace is the story of the year. Everyone but my mother is on it.
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I don't get any anxiety. I don't because of two reasons. Number one, just breaking through it as a kid and finally getting past it was like okay, nothing's ever going to feel that scary again as that deafening silence of a joke not working. Any joke not working is not as bad as not being able to even try and get on stage.
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It's hard dealing with day to day disappointments and feeling like you can't find success. Especially when your best friend is Pixar.
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I have faith in all mankind. Well,not faith really, more like hopeful suspicion. And not all but 5 people. Mankind meaning computers.
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I have never even had a sip of alcohol, never have done drugs. The hardest thing I have ever done would be Pepsi.
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Vince Vaughn is a genuine person, awesome guy. He'll come to a lot of my shows. It's not that often that you can meet someone as cool as Vince.
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I am an observer, I like to watch people. I am into psychology and people - how they act and such.
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I can't watch a woman play with herself - to me, it looks like a DJ working the turntables... DJ Diddles.
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I'm a late-night guy.
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I can't do anything! I can't even have an English muffin!
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My professional dreams were coming true while I was living a personal nightmare.
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Every joke has its origin - the punching people in the face joke. It hurts like hell to get punched in the face.
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When you get hit by a car sometimes your shoes will fly off, sometimes your pants will come off, but I was not fortunate enough to see the pants portion.
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There were times, earlier in my career, where I didn't have the wherewithal to self-edit, and I probably said things and pushed the limits to places where people might be put off. But that's truly part of developing as an artist.
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Listening to Evanescence makes me want to break up with a girl in real time as a giant antique hourglass falls to the floor in slow motion.
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Even when I go to a salad bar, I need to feel like I'm one of the first people there.
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