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I'm bringing back the skinny tie but wearing it tied around my balls.

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Bringing
Ties
Wearing
Balls
Around
Back
Skinny
Tied

More quotes by Dane Cook

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Quote/Unquote and you can quote me on the quote/unquote.
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You have to learn the crowd. I just pay attention to them so I can make sure I can make them laugh.
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I've lived (in LA) for so long, I don't even know what is real and what isn't anymore.
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Three weeks ago one of my dreams came true. I finally got to see something I always wanted to witness live. I finally saw someone get hit by a car... Nailed!
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Why do bad guys in movies always love to whistle really slowly?
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You know your girls up to no good when her and her friends make a pact to post nothing on Instagram.
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I was doing comedy in laundry mats in 1992, literally where I would bring a little gorilla amp and a lapel mike and just start performing.
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I was told by a girl once that I should teach a course on how to kiss properly. I thought that was really a nice compliment. I then asked her what she thought about my sexual prowess and she recommended I talk to a guy she used to date. Body blow.
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When somebody says I wouldn't change a thing they're thinking of something they would change.
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There were times, earlier in my career, where I didn't have the wherewithal to self-edit, and I probably said things and pushed the limits to places where people might be put off. But that's truly part of developing as an artist.
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Video games don't make people go nuts. I played Super Mario forever. Not once hopping on a turtle or smash my head through a brick ceiling.
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Sometimes, when you want to make a difference in a person's life, stay out of it.
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My mom and dad passed away from cancer. Within nine months, I lost both of my folks. Immediately after that, I had a horrible betrayal where my brother, who worked for me, stole a lot of my money. He's in jail now.
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I'm a late-night guy.
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Sometimes sex is just a way to escape having to talk to that person.
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When you get hit by a car sometimes your shoes will fly off, sometimes your pants will come off, but I was not fortunate enough to see the pants portion.
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I can smell bullshit from a mile away but it's so much harder to detect when it's around you all day.
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I was not a silly kid or outgoing. In fact, I suffered from quite a bit of anxiety. I used to have panic attacks when I was a teenager, really incapacitating moments, because I had some phobias.
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When people refer to 'Back in the Day,' it was a Wednesday. Just a little fun fact for you.
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Even when I go to a salad bar, I need to feel like I'm one of the first people there.
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