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I'm bringing back the skinny tie but wearing it tied around my balls.

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Skinny
Tied
Bringing
Ties
Wearing
Balls
Around
Back

More quotes by Dane Cook

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When you hand someone a camera, why do they act like you just asked them to dissemble a bomb? They take it and they're like, 'What do I do ... I don't really ... ha-huh ...' Yeah, it's the button on the top right where it always is since the beginning of #*@! time!
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I love singing along to the radio while I'm riding in the back of a squad car.
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Dear semi hot girl taking photos on a boat. It's not your boat so stop acting like you own it. You drive a used Civic.
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They used to beat me up after Sunday School, I used to get beat up... yeah, that's a nice little thank you from Jesus.
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Listening to Evanescence makes me want to break up with a girl in real time as a giant antique hourglass falls to the floor in slow motion.
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When I'm wrong I'm like the Emperor on the Death Star thinking he'll turn Luke. Yet, when I'm right I'm a Jedi like my father before me.
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People know I have a good time on stage. I love my life. I love my job.
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I always wanted to be a snake. Every time I saw a snake on TV. I'd always say 'Why not me?'
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I'm quitting the business today. I'm going to open up an appliance store, I've always really been into toasters. I'm giving it all up.
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There's always someone in every group of friends that nobody likes.
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I saw a young boy eating an ice cream cone, ... I smashed it in his face. You know that kid is going to remember me when he's 50.
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I was not a silly kid or outgoing. In fact, I suffered from quite a bit of anxiety. I used to have panic attacks when I was a teenager, really incapacitating moments, because I had some phobias.
Dane Cook
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It's hard dealing with day to day disappointments and feeling like you can't find success. Especially when your best friend is Pixar.
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I'm curious by individuals that embrace half a story so they can justify how incomplete they feel about their own self worth.
Dane Cook
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It's an incredible feeling falling in love someone who doesn't know you exist.
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If you take a negative, turn it inside out, it's still a negative. You're just revealing the ugly inside of negative so I say keep it as is.
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I am an observer, I like to watch people. I am into psychology and people - how they act and such.
Dane Cook
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Valentine's Day is a time to celebrate the joy of being in love. Unless you're single & lonely then it's called Laundry Day.
Dane Cook
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Quote/Unquote and you can quote me on the quote/unquote.
Dane Cook
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You have to realize, when you're a comedian, that you have to have a thick skin. And trust me, being onstage in front of people is already difficult enough. Somebody's personal attack in an email is not as hard as getting onstage.
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