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I'm bringing back the skinny tie but wearing it tied around my balls.
Dane Cook
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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Ties
Wearing
Balls
Around
Back
Skinny
Tied
Bringing
More quotes by Dane Cook
I'm curious by individuals that embrace half a story so they can justify how incomplete they feel about their own self worth.
Dane Cook
You have to realize, when you're a comedian, that you have to have a thick skin. And trust me, being onstage in front of people is already difficult enough. Somebody's personal attack in an email is not as hard as getting onstage.
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Dear semi hot girl taking photos on a boat. It's not your boat so stop acting like you own it. You drive a used Civic.
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Let's talk a little about love. Sometimes you meet somebody and you have what is known as a relationship and things can go great. If things go great you have a great relationship. Sometimes it doesn't go so great and I call that a relationshit!
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If you live far away from a person you no longer want to date just let them know that they are geographically undesirable.
Dane Cook
I don't have to do anything for anyone else's benefit anymore. I just want to exceed my own expectations.
Dane Cook
Then it was snack time, right in the middle of mass. Right out of nowhere, the priest would look down and say, 'Let's have some yum yums!' You would get in line - you would jump in the line - and you would go up and get the crouton O'Christ.
Dane Cook
Hi, I'm a buck tooth and I like to be outside past the lips.
Dane Cook
If you take a negative, turn it inside out, it's still a negative. You're just revealing the ugly inside of negative so I say keep it as is.
Dane Cook
I have a new saying, what I see in Vegas, I am telling everybody.
Dane Cook
I am going to name a group of my kids after my favorite cartoons, I am going to name them after Transformers.
Dane Cook
I can't watch a woman play with herself - to me, it looks like a DJ working the turntables... DJ Diddles.
Dane Cook
I always thought that if I got no love at all early in my standup career, or I was god awful, I thought I'd get into psychology.
Dane Cook
Drive, ego and cocksureness are all essential elements in terms of getting exactly what you want but losing everything you've got.
Dane Cook
Even when I go to a salad bar, I need to feel like I'm one of the first people there.
Dane Cook
I am an observer, I like to watch people. I am into psychology and people - how they act and such.
Dane Cook
It's not for any purpose such as religion, health, or things like that, I just never felt I had the need or want to drink or do drugs.
Dane Cook
Vince Vaughn is a genuine person, awesome guy. He'll come to a lot of my shows. It's not that often that you can meet someone as cool as Vince.
Dane Cook
When you don't have love, it's like there's a party going on, and everybody was invited, except for you. And you just happened to be walking by that house in the rain...
Dane Cook
I've always read books and loved human behavior since I was ten or twelve years old. Maybe even that's why I wanted to do comedy.
Dane Cook
