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I'm bringing back the skinny tie but wearing it tied around my balls.

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Bringing
Ties
Wearing
Balls
Around
Back
Skinny
Tied

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Then it was snack time, right in the middle of mass. Right out of nowhere, the priest would look down and say, 'Let's have some yum yums!' You would get in line - you would jump in the line - and you would go up and get the crouton O'Christ.
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Losing my mind sounds so pessimistic. I prefer the term winning my insanity.
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Christina can sing all the notes, but Britney is just hot!
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When I'm looking for hot button answers to tough questions, I don't look to congressman or my mayor. I say, 'What would Miss U.S.A. have to say about this?'
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I've always read books and loved human behavior since I was ten or twelve years old. Maybe even that's why I wanted to do comedy.
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I love hecklers. They remind you that you are a comedian.
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I won't take no for a question.
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Sometimes sex is just a way to escape having to talk to that person.
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There's always someone in every group of friends that nobody likes.
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People know I have a good time on stage. I love my life. I love my job.
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You have to have a strong sense of humor to date me, and also know that you're probably going to be a part of the routine quite a bit.
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Pain only hurts when you are looking for a reason to quit. You don't feel a thing when you know you can still win.
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Why do bad guys in movies always love to whistle really slowly?
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I saw a young boy eating an ice cream cone, ... I smashed it in his face. You know that kid is going to remember me when he's 50.
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My professional dreams were coming true while I was living a personal nightmare.
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I like to play guitar, jam out, play the blues, go watch movies. I love movies.
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My mom and dad passed away from cancer. Within nine months, I lost both of my folks. Immediately after that, I had a horrible betrayal where my brother, who worked for me, stole a lot of my money. He's in jail now.
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If you live far away from a person you no longer want to date just let them know that they are geographically undesirable.
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I get so into the moment.
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I miss dating only for that final moment you kiss goodnight, watch her get out of your car and run into the police station.
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