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I miss dating only for that final moment you kiss goodnight, watch her get out of your car and run into the police station.
Dane Cook
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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Running
Miss
Moments
Kissing
Goodnight
Police
Station
Car
Stations
Missing
Dating
Watches
Kiss
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Final
Moment
Finals
More quotes by Dane Cook
It's amazing how dumb people can impress you with how much stupider they can be when they really assert themselves.
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When I first hit the scene, it was just a lot of go, go, go, go, go. I have a lot of natural energy anyway, but it was over the top.
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I'm quitting the business today. I'm going to open up an appliance store, I've always really been into toasters. I'm giving it all up.
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If you're drunk please don't drive. If you're on shrooms please don't think Walmart's a prison for bad clothing that needs help escaping.
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I don't get any anxiety. I don't because of two reasons. Number one, just breaking through it as a kid and finally getting past it was like okay, nothing's ever going to feel that scary again as that deafening silence of a joke not working. Any joke not working is not as bad as not being able to even try and get on stage.
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I'm focused on staying as healthy as I can so I can work more.
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I've always read books and loved human behavior since I was ten or twelve years old. Maybe even that's why I wanted to do comedy.
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It really drives me banana sangwich.
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If haters or whatever want to find you - I mean, some of them are so tenacious. You want to hire them to work for you. Theyre very, very savvy in terms of how they find you and get to you.
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I'm curious by individuals that embrace half a story so they can justify how incomplete they feel about their own self worth.
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Sometimes sex is just a way to escape having to talk to that person.
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I can't watch a woman play with herself - to me, it looks like a DJ working the turntables... DJ Diddles.
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Ex-girlfriends will find themselves in my new routine. Sometimes they like that, and sometimes they definitely do not. But comedians should come with a giant warning or disclaimer: IF YOU DATE ME, IT WILL BE IN MY ACT.
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Sometimes, when a person gains a lot of success at a very young age, they become targets, and it's really easy to follow the crowds and not make independent decisions based on truly how you feel.
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People know I have a good time on stage. I love my life. I love my job.
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I'm not racist, I've got a black president.
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I'm a deep thinker when it comes to shallow no brainers.
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You have to realize, when you're a comedian, that you have to have a thick skin. And trust me, being onstage in front of people is already difficult enough. Somebody's personal attack in an email is not as hard as getting onstage.
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I'm shooting a pilot based on my show. It's a one-camera show. I play myself.
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We all hope for breakthrough rebirth moments.
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