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I love singing along to the radio while I'm riding in the back of a squad car.

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Radio
Car
Singing
Along
Back
Love
Squad
Riding

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I always wanted to be a snake. Every time I saw a snake on TV. I'd always say 'Why not me?'
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Sometimes, when a person gains a lot of success at a very young age, they become targets, and it's really easy to follow the crowds and not make independent decisions based on truly how you feel.
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Dear semi hot girl taking photos on a boat. It's not your boat so stop acting like you own it. You drive a used Civic.
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I can't watch a woman play with herself - to me, it looks like a DJ working the turntables... DJ Diddles.
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Strip clubs are great places to meet interesting people you only wanna know for about 40 minutes.
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Ma'am, are you trying to molest me via drivethru?
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I can smell bullshit from a mile away but it's so much harder to detect when it's around you all day.
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Sometimes, when you want to make a difference in a person's life, stay out of it.
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When I first hit the scene, it was just a lot of go, go, go, go, go. I have a lot of natural energy anyway, but it was over the top.
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When you see somebody walking down the street wearing a Superman t-shirt, you just want to shoot them in the chest ... when they start to bleed go, I guess not
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I always thought that if I got no love at all early in my standup career, or I was god awful, I thought I'd get into psychology.
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I was very good at kickball ... I was wonderful at ah doing that kick and your leg goes up and your shoe went on top of the school
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I miss dating only for that final moment you kiss goodnight, watch her get out of your car and run into the police station.
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I can do more than just stand-up comedy, and the only way I'll be able to show that is if I do it myself. Because nobody trusts that I can do it.
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I've always read books and loved human behavior since I was ten or twelve years old. Maybe even that's why I wanted to do comedy.
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If you take a negative, turn it inside out, it's still a negative. You're just revealing the ugly inside of negative so I say keep it as is.
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Created a word game to play with a person you're fighting with. Silent Treatment. Nothing happens until one of you quietly says, Hey, you hungry?
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You can't teach an old hater new truths.
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A lot of comics are kind of vampire types we do our shows and disappear into the night. My philosophy was, this is like politics, and if I want people to know about my campaign, I'm going to go out there and shake hands.
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Nice teeth is a turn on for me. If you open your mouth and it looks like a battle of epic proportions, I don't like it.
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