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I'm a deep thinker when it comes to shallow no brainers.

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Deep
Comes
Shallow
Thinker

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Hi, I'm a buck tooth and I like to be outside past the lips.
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I don't hate anyone. I simply block them out using hellish visions in a blind white rage. But if I see them out I'm pleasant.
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I'm bringing back the skinny tie but wearing it tied around my balls.
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I was home educated but would skip my lessons to go hang out at school.
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I once overheard the sweetest old woman behind me on a train tell her adorable old husband as he scoffed down a ham sandwich she had brought along, If you ever yell at me to stop bringing a ham sandwich with me every where we go again? Next time I'm bringing a gun. And I'm blowing your God damn head off.
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I'm focused on staying as healthy as I can so I can work more.
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I've lived (in LA) for so long, I don't even know what is real and what isn't anymore.
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You can't become tempted if you just give in a little quicker.
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That MySpace is the story of the year. Everyone but my mother is on it.
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Even when I go to a salad bar, I need to feel like I'm one of the first people there.
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I am going to name a group of my kids after my favorite cartoons, I am going to name them after Transformers.
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Every joke has its origin - the punching people in the face joke. It hurts like hell to get punched in the face.
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If you think your demeanor is mellow or not particularly charismatic, the material can life you higher. So write everyday, and get onstage or in a coffee shop where they are doing open mice, anywhere you can perform even if that means starting your own open mic night - and be your own self.
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My mom and dad passed away from cancer. Within nine months, I lost both of my folks. Immediately after that, I had a horrible betrayal where my brother, who worked for me, stole a lot of my money. He's in jail now.
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If you're drunk please don't drive. If you're on shrooms please don't think Walmart's a prison for bad clothing that needs help escaping.
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I'm always going to be someone that people enjoy watching.
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I get so into the moment.
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Quote/Unquote and you can quote me on the quote/unquote.
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Nice teeth is a turn on for me. If you open your mouth and it looks like a battle of epic proportions, I don't like it.
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When you're on a movie set and you are hopefully making a comedy, everyone's stifling their laughter. You're looking at the crew guys, hoping someone is making that face like, and not like, this is not working out, man.
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