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You can't become tempted if you just give in a little quicker.

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Quicker
Tempted
Become
Give
Littles
Little
Giving

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I can smell bullshit from a mile away but it's so much harder to detect when it's around you all day.
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I won't take no for a question.
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Are there glass shards in my anus?!
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Ex-girlfriends will find themselves in my new routine. Sometimes they like that, and sometimes they definitely do not. But comedians should come with a giant warning or disclaimer: IF YOU DATE ME, IT WILL BE IN MY ACT.
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When people refer to 'Back in the Day,' it was a Wednesday. Just a little fun fact for you.
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Quote/Unquote and you can quote me on the quote/unquote.
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I was doing comedy in laundry mats in 1992, literally where I would bring a little gorilla amp and a lapel mike and just start performing.
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I'm not racist, I've got a black president.
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When somebody says I wouldn't change a thing they're thinking of something they would change.
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I could take my time, and nobody was pressuring me to be a headliner. I could go up there, find my voice, and figure out what I wanted to do.
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I think beating someone to death with a ukulele would just sound funny.
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Nice teeth is a turn on for me. If you open your mouth and it looks like a battle of epic proportions, I don't like it.
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They used to beat me up after Sunday School, I used to get beat up... yeah, that's a nice little thank you from Jesus.
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Drive, ego and cocksureness are all essential elements in terms of getting exactly what you want but losing everything you've got.
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We're all gonna lie, we're all gonna cry, and we're all gonna take painful shits.
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I'm a deep thinker when it comes to shallow no brainers.
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I love singing along to the radio while I'm riding in the back of a squad car.
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I can do more than just stand-up comedy, and the only way I'll be able to show that is if I do it myself. Because nobody trusts that I can do it.
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If you live far away from a person you no longer want to date just let them know that they are geographically undesirable.
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I feel like I was born and bred to stay self-motivated. I'm not one of those people who ho-hums and feels sorry for himself when something's bad.
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