Quote

If you're drunk please don't drive. If you're on shrooms please don't think Walmart's a prison for bad clothing that needs help escaping.

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Needs
Clothings
Think
Clothing
Thinking
Drunk
Drive
Prison
Please
Help
Helping
Escaping

More quotes by Dane Cook

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Pain only hurts when you are looking for a reason to quit. You don't feel a thing when you know you can still win.
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Are there glass shards in my anus?!
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Three weeks ago one of my dreams came true. I finally got to see something I always wanted to witness live. I finally saw someone get hit by a car... Nailed!
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Losing my mind sounds so pessimistic. I prefer the term winning my insanity.
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Video games don't make people go nuts. I played Super Mario forever. Not once hopping on a turtle or smash my head through a brick ceiling.
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I don't know if I could rebuild an airplane engine, but I know a little bit about rotors and rivets.
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It really drives me banana sangwich.
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Nothing is a better icebreaker than a great joke.
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I've been ignoring my feelings lately. That works pretty well. Might also settle for less this week, just to try it out.
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We all hope for breakthrough rebirth moments.
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You know your gut instincts are spot on about a person when you can also detect a water source in the soil beneath them.
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Sometimes, when you want to make a difference in a person's life, stay out of it.
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When you're on a movie set and you are hopefully making a comedy, everyone's stifling their laughter. You're looking at the crew guys, hoping someone is making that face like, and not like, this is not working out, man.
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I don't laugh out loud at comics a lot.
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If you live far away from a person you no longer want to date just let them know that they are geographically undesirable.
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There was a girl I loved in high school - but never spoke to. Cut to my five-year reunion: I'm an entirely different person.
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I can do more than just stand-up comedy, and the only way I'll be able to show that is if I do it myself. Because nobody trusts that I can do it.
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When somebody says I wouldn't change a thing they're thinking of something they would change.
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If you have to be at work at 8, it's always like, 7:54. Just enough time to do nothing. To just lay there and go, I can't do anything! I can't even have an English muffin!
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When people refer to 'Back in the Day,' it was a Wednesday. Just a little fun fact for you.
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