Quote

If you're drunk please don't drive. If you're on shrooms please don't think Walmart's a prison for bad clothing that needs help escaping.

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Drive
Prison
Please
Help
Helping
Escaping
Needs
Clothings
Think
Clothing
Thinking
Drunk

More quotes by Dane Cook

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I always wanted to be a snake. Every time I saw a snake on TV. I'd always say 'Why not me?'
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I don't laugh out loud at comics a lot.
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I'm shooting a pilot based on my show. It's a one-camera show. I play myself.
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Ma'am, are you trying to molest me via drivethru?
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My mom and dad passed away from cancer. Within nine months, I lost both of my folks. Immediately after that, I had a horrible betrayal where my brother, who worked for me, stole a lot of my money. He's in jail now.
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I'm focused on staying as healthy as I can so I can work more.
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Jim Norton and Harland Williams always make me laugh.
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You can easily tell if a person is lying and cheating on you if they say, I love you. I would never lie to you or cheat on you.
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Nothing is a better icebreaker than a great joke.
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You can't teach an old hater new truths.
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On stage I am the actor, director and the bouncer all at the same time. Fear does not exist in this dojo does it? No Sensi! Sorry when I get excited I have to toss in some Karate Kid quotes.
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When you get hit by a car sometimes your shoes will fly off, sometimes your pants will come off, but I was not fortunate enough to see the pants portion.
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I like to play guitar, jam out, play the blues, go watch movies. I love movies.
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It's an incredible feeling falling in love someone who doesn't know you exist.
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You can't become tempted if you just give in a little quicker.
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I am going to name a group of my kids after my favorite cartoons, I am going to name them after Transformers.
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Quote/Unquote and you can quote me on the quote/unquote.
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I feel like I was born and bred to stay self-motivated. I'm not one of those people who ho-hums and feels sorry for himself when something's bad.
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When someone's running late through an airport, I hope they miss their flight so they can meet the love of their life at the duty free shop.
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I've been ignoring my feelings lately. That works pretty well. Might also settle for less this week, just to try it out.
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