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When somebody says I wouldn't change a thing they're thinking of something they would change.
Dane Cook
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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Thinking
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Would
More quotes by Dane Cook
I always thought that if I got no love at all early in my standup career, or I was god awful, I thought I'd get into psychology.
Dane Cook
When you are doing stand-up comedy, you are the writer, producer, director, sometimes bouncer.
Dane Cook
If you think your demeanor is mellow or not particularly charismatic, the material can life you higher. So write everyday, and get onstage or in a coffee shop where they are doing open mice, anywhere you can perform even if that means starting your own open mic night - and be your own self.
Dane Cook
I say God bless you... I don't say bless you... I'm not the Lord. I can't do that...
Dane Cook
Why do bad guys in movies always love to whistle really slowly?
Dane Cook
I'm a deep thinker when it comes to shallow no brainers.
Dane Cook
My professional dreams were coming true while I was living a personal nightmare.
Dane Cook
I'm a late-night guy.
Dane Cook
Let's talk a little about love. Sometimes you meet somebody and you have what is known as a relationship and things can go great. If things go great you have a great relationship. Sometimes it doesn't go so great and I call that a relationshit!
Dane Cook
A lot of comics are kind of vampire types we do our shows and disappear into the night. My philosophy was, this is like politics, and if I want people to know about my campaign, I'm going to go out there and shake hands.
Dane Cook
Then it was snack time, right in the middle of mass. Right out of nowhere, the priest would look down and say, 'Let's have some yum yums!' You would get in line - you would jump in the line - and you would go up and get the crouton O'Christ.
Dane Cook
I saw a young boy eating an ice cream cone, ... I smashed it in his face. You know that kid is going to remember me when he's 50.
Dane Cook
Strip clubs are great places to meet interesting people you only wanna know for about 40 minutes.
Dane Cook
I am going to name a group of my kids after my favorite cartoons, I am going to name them after Transformers.
Dane Cook
Are there glass shards in my anus?!
Dane Cook
I always wanted to be a snake. Every time I saw a snake on TV. I'd always say 'Why not me?'
Dane Cook
I'm not giving up on life. I'm giving up on today.
Dane Cook
We're all gonna lie, we're all gonna cry, and we're all gonna take painful shits.
Dane Cook
There were times, earlier in my career, where I didn't have the wherewithal to self-edit, and I probably said things and pushed the limits to places where people might be put off. But that's truly part of developing as an artist.
Dane Cook
I was not a silly kid or outgoing. In fact, I suffered from quite a bit of anxiety. I used to have panic attacks when I was a teenager, really incapacitating moments, because I had some phobias.
Dane Cook
