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When somebody says I wouldn't change a thing they're thinking of something they would change.

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Says
Somebody
Change
Thing
Something
Would
Thinking
Wouldn

More quotes by Dane Cook

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When you see somebody walking down the street wearing a Superman t-shirt, you just want to shoot them in the chest ... when they start to bleed go, I guess not
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My professional dreams were coming true while I was living a personal nightmare.
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A couple of days back, I got into a car accident. Not my fault. Even if it's not your fault, the other person gets out of their car and looks at you like it's your fault: Why did you stop at a red light and let me hit you doing 80!
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Let's talk a little about love. Sometimes you meet somebody and you have what is known as a relationship and things can go great. If things go great you have a great relationship. Sometimes it doesn't go so great and I call that a relationshit!
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I think that people who do enjoy my stand-up comedy and the people who get it and the people who are taken in by it, they see that I'm a guy that has love of the game.
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It really drives me banana sangwich.
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I don't know if I could rebuild an airplane engine, but I know a little bit about rotors and rivets.
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I'm quitting the business today. I'm going to open up an appliance store, I've always really been into toasters. I'm giving it all up.
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If you take a negative, turn it inside out, it's still a negative. You're just revealing the ugly inside of negative so I say keep it as is.
Dane Cook
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Then it was snack time, right in the middle of mass. Right out of nowhere, the priest would look down and say, 'Let's have some yum yums!' You would get in line - you would jump in the line - and you would go up and get the crouton O'Christ.
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You know your girls up to no good when her and her friends make a pact to post nothing on Instagram.
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You have to have a strong sense of humor to date me, and also know that you're probably going to be a part of the routine quite a bit.
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When someone's running late through an airport, I hope they miss their flight so they can meet the love of their life at the duty free shop.
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Every joke has its origin - the punching people in the face joke. It hurts like hell to get punched in the face.
Dane Cook
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When you hand someone a camera, why do they act like you just asked them to dissemble a bomb? They take it and they're like, 'What do I do ... I don't really ... ha-huh ...' Yeah, it's the button on the top right where it always is since the beginning of #*@! time!
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If haters or whatever want to find you - I mean, some of them are so tenacious. You want to hire them to work for you. Theyre very, very savvy in terms of how they find you and get to you.
Dane Cook
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It's not for any purpose such as religion, health, or things like that, I just never felt I had the need or want to drink or do drugs.
Dane Cook
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Vince Vaughn is a genuine person, awesome guy. He'll come to a lot of my shows. It's not that often that you can meet someone as cool as Vince.
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On stage I am the actor, director and the bouncer all at the same time. Fear does not exist in this dojo does it? No Sensi! Sorry when I get excited I have to toss in some Karate Kid quotes.
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Pain only hurts when you are looking for a reason to quit. You don't feel a thing when you know you can still win.
Dane Cook