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When somebody says I wouldn't change a thing they're thinking of something they would change.
Dane Cook
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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Thing
Something
Would
Thinking
Wouldn
Says
Somebody
Change
More quotes by Dane Cook
My professional dreams were coming true while I was living a personal nightmare.
Dane Cook
If my voice can resonate that way with kids, maybe it will resonate through 'Planes' as well, and they'll hear that little something that I'm giving to them, a performance that says to them, I want to try. It's all interconnected. I don't think it's thinking too deeply about it.
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You can't teach an old hater new truths.
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You have to have a strong sense of humor to date me, and also know that you're probably going to be a part of the routine quite a bit.
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I love hecklers. They remind you that you are a comedian.
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I always wanted to be a snake. Every time I saw a snake on TV. I'd always say 'Why not me?'
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The whole thing with comedy is that you are always in control. Writer, director, actor, producer, and sometimes bouncer. And you are just a piece of their puzzle.
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Ma'am, are you trying to molest me via drivethru?
Dane Cook
When you see somebody walking down the street wearing a Superman t-shirt, you just want to shoot them in the chest ... when they start to bleed go, I guess not
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Pain only hurts when you are looking for a reason to quit. You don't feel a thing when you know you can still win.
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I think beating someone to death with a ukulele would just sound funny.
Dane Cook
Nothing is a better icebreaker than a great joke.
Dane Cook
Sometimes, when a person gains a lot of success at a very young age, they become targets, and it's really easy to follow the crowds and not make independent decisions based on truly how you feel.
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Strip clubs are great places to meet interesting people you only wanna know for about 40 minutes.
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I was told by a girl once that I should teach a course on how to kiss properly. I thought that was really a nice compliment. I then asked her what she thought about my sexual prowess and she recommended I talk to a guy she used to date. Body blow.
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I am going to name a group of my kids after my favorite cartoons, I am going to name them after Transformers.
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Then it was snack time, right in the middle of mass. Right out of nowhere, the priest would look down and say, 'Let's have some yum yums!' You would get in line - you would jump in the line - and you would go up and get the crouton O'Christ.
Dane Cook
There's always someone in every group of friends that nobody likes.
Dane Cook
You need to open up your soul and have a weep-a-thon.
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When you get hit by a car sometimes your shoes will fly off, sometimes your pants will come off, but I was not fortunate enough to see the pants portion.
Dane Cook
