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When somebody says I wouldn't change a thing they're thinking of something they would change.
Dane Cook
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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
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Thing
More quotes by Dane Cook
I can smell bullshit from a mile away but it's so much harder to detect when it's around you all day.
Dane Cook
Then it was snack time, right in the middle of mass. Right out of nowhere, the priest would look down and say, 'Let's have some yum yums!' You would get in line - you would jump in the line - and you would go up and get the crouton O'Christ.
Dane Cook
If you think your demeanor is mellow or not particularly charismatic, the material can life you higher. So write everyday, and get onstage or in a coffee shop where they are doing open mice, anywhere you can perform even if that means starting your own open mic night - and be your own self.
Dane Cook
You have to realize, when you're a comedian, that you have to have a thick skin. And trust me, being onstage in front of people is already difficult enough. Somebody's personal attack in an email is not as hard as getting onstage.
Dane Cook
When I'm looking for hot button answers to tough questions, I don't look to congressman or my mayor. I say, 'What would Miss U.S.A. have to say about this?'
Dane Cook
If you're drunk please don't drive. If you're on shrooms please don't think Walmart's a prison for bad clothing that needs help escaping.
Dane Cook
If you take a negative, turn it inside out, it's still a negative. You're just revealing the ugly inside of negative so I say keep it as is.
Dane Cook
Are there glass shards in my anus?!
Dane Cook
You can't teach an old hater new truths.
Dane Cook
We all hope for breakthrough rebirth moments.
Dane Cook
Jim Norton and Harland Williams always make me laugh.
Dane Cook
That MySpace is the story of the year. Everyone but my mother is on it.
Dane Cook
I was doing comedy in laundry mats in 1992, literally where I would bring a little gorilla amp and a lapel mike and just start performing.
Dane Cook
People know I have a good time on stage. I love my life. I love my job.
Dane Cook
I won't take no for a question.
Dane Cook
It's hard dealing with day to day disappointments and feeling like you can't find success. Especially when your best friend is Pixar.
Dane Cook
I think beating someone to death with a ukulele would just sound funny.
Dane Cook
Pain only hurts when you are looking for a reason to quit. You don't feel a thing when you know you can still win.
Dane Cook
If my voice can resonate that way with kids, maybe it will resonate through 'Planes' as well, and they'll hear that little something that I'm giving to them, a performance that says to them, I want to try. It's all interconnected. I don't think it's thinking too deeply about it.
Dane Cook
Valentine's Day is a time to celebrate the joy of being in love. Unless you're single & lonely then it's called Laundry Day.
Dane Cook
