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When somebody says I wouldn't change a thing they're thinking of something they would change.
Dane Cook
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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Something
Would
Thinking
Wouldn
Says
Somebody
Change
Thing
More quotes by Dane Cook
Even when I go to a salad bar, I need to feel like I'm one of the first people there.
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When you see somebody walking down the street wearing a Superman t-shirt, you just want to shoot them in the chest ... when they start to bleed go, I guess not
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I am going to name a group of my kids after my favorite cartoons, I am going to name them after Transformers.
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I don't have to do anything for anyone else's benefit anymore. I just want to exceed my own expectations.
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Ma'am, are you trying to molest me via drivethru?
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I can't watch a woman play with herself - to me, it looks like a DJ working the turntables... DJ Diddles.
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It's amazing how dumb people can impress you with how much stupider they can be when they really assert themselves.
Dane Cook
I'm curious by individuals that embrace half a story so they can justify how incomplete they feel about their own self worth.
Dane Cook
It's hard dealing with day to day disappointments and feeling like you can't find success. Especially when your best friend is Pixar.
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Are there glass shards in my anus?!
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Ex-girlfriends will find themselves in my new routine. Sometimes they like that, and sometimes they definitely do not. But comedians should come with a giant warning or disclaimer: IF YOU DATE ME, IT WILL BE IN MY ACT.
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I don't laugh out loud at comics a lot.
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If you're drunk please don't drive. If you're on shrooms please don't think Walmart's a prison for bad clothing that needs help escaping.
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It's an incredible feeling falling in love someone who doesn't know you exist.
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Then it was snack time, right in the middle of mass. Right out of nowhere, the priest would look down and say, 'Let's have some yum yums!' You would get in line - you would jump in the line - and you would go up and get the crouton O'Christ.
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When people refer to 'Back in the Day,' it was a Wednesday. Just a little fun fact for you.
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If my voice can resonate that way with kids, maybe it will resonate through 'Planes' as well, and they'll hear that little something that I'm giving to them, a performance that says to them, I want to try. It's all interconnected. I don't think it's thinking too deeply about it.
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I live my life like there's no yesterday.
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Valentine's Day is a time to celebrate the joy of being in love. Unless you're single & lonely then it's called Laundry Day.
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It really drives me banana sangwich.
Dane Cook