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I'm curious by individuals that embrace half a story so they can justify how incomplete they feel about their own self worth.
Dane Cook
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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Justify
Stories
Curious
Self
Individuals
Feel
Embrace
Feels
Worth
Story
Half
Incomplete
Individual
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There's estrogen running through my veins!
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I don't get any anxiety. I don't because of two reasons. Number one, just breaking through it as a kid and finally getting past it was like okay, nothing's ever going to feel that scary again as that deafening silence of a joke not working. Any joke not working is not as bad as not being able to even try and get on stage.
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When you swear to God, its true ... right now God is watching and saying, this is true.
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I was home educated but would skip my lessons to go hang out at school.
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People know I have a good time on stage. I love my life. I love my job.
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It's hard dealing with day to day disappointments and feeling like you can't find success. Especially when your best friend is Pixar.
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There were times, earlier in my career, where I didn't have the wherewithal to self-edit, and I probably said things and pushed the limits to places where people might be put off. But that's truly part of developing as an artist.
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I can't watch a woman play with herself - to me, it looks like a DJ working the turntables... DJ Diddles.
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I could take my time, and nobody was pressuring me to be a headliner. I could go up there, find my voice, and figure out what I wanted to do.
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It's amazing how dumb people can impress you with how much stupider they can be when they really assert themselves.
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Here's how you know that you're really drunk: when you get into a taxi cab and you think the fare is the time.
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I would love to have acidy spit.
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Are there glass shards in my anus?!
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You are the director of your own life story. Don't cast idiots or people will walk out during your 2nd act.
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Let's talk a little about love. Sometimes you meet somebody and you have what is known as a relationship and things can go great. If things go great you have a great relationship. Sometimes it doesn't go so great and I call that a relationshit!
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Three weeks ago one of my dreams came true. I finally got to see something I always wanted to witness live. I finally saw someone get hit by a car... Nailed!
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I'm always going to be someone that people enjoy watching.
Dane Cook
I saw a young boy eating an ice cream cone, ... I smashed it in his face. You know that kid is going to remember me when he's 50.
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I once overheard the sweetest old woman behind me on a train tell her adorable old husband as he scoffed down a ham sandwich she had brought along, If you ever yell at me to stop bringing a ham sandwich with me every where we go again? Next time I'm bringing a gun. And I'm blowing your God damn head off.
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I've been ignoring my feelings lately. That works pretty well. Might also settle for less this week, just to try it out.
Dane Cook