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I can smell bullshit from a mile away but it's so much harder to detect when it's around you all day.

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Harder
Away
Detection
Around
Detect
Much
Mile
Bullshit
Nonsense
Miles
Smell

More quotes by Dane Cook

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You have to realize, when you're a comedian, that you have to have a thick skin. And trust me, being onstage in front of people is already difficult enough. Somebody's personal attack in an email is not as hard as getting onstage.
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Here's how you know that you're really drunk: when you get into a taxi cab and you think the fare is the time.
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Nothing is a better icebreaker than a great joke.
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Dear semi hot girl taking photos on a boat. It's not your boat so stop acting like you own it. You drive a used Civic.
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I'm shooting a pilot based on my show. It's a one-camera show. I play myself.
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You know your gut instincts are spot on about a person when you can also detect a water source in the soil beneath them.
Dane Cook
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I'm focused on staying as healthy as I can so I can work more.
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I have new ideas every day, and I always want to take on new challenges.
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If you take a negative, turn it inside out, it's still a negative. You're just revealing the ugly inside of negative so I say keep it as is.
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Video games don't make people go nuts. I played Super Mario forever. Not once hopping on a turtle or smash my head through a brick ceiling.
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I have never even had a sip of alcohol, never have done drugs. The hardest thing I have ever done would be Pepsi.
Dane Cook
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That MySpace is the story of the year. Everyone but my mother is on it.
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Comedy is immediate. Comedy is a solo mission. You're all by yourself, up there. And when you're in a film, on a set, it's a collaborative effort. It's about me being a tool for somebody else to create a story and a character from nothing, from their imagination.
Dane Cook
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I'm quitting the business today. I'm going to open up an appliance store, I've always really been into toasters. I'm giving it all up.
Dane Cook
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Strip clubs are great places to meet interesting people you only wanna know for about 40 minutes.
Dane Cook
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Created a word game to play with a person you're fighting with. Silent Treatment. Nothing happens until one of you quietly says, Hey, you hungry?
Dane Cook
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Quote/Unquote and you can quote me on the quote/unquote.
Dane Cook
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I think beating someone to death with a ukulele would just sound funny.
Dane Cook
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When someone's running late through an airport, I hope they miss their flight so they can meet the love of their life at the duty free shop.
Dane Cook
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Christina can sing all the notes, but Britney is just hot!
Dane Cook