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Every joke has its origin - the punching people in the face joke. It hurts like hell to get punched in the face.
Dane Cook
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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Every
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Jokes
Hell
Hurt
Face
Punched
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More quotes by Dane Cook
A lot of comics are kind of vampire types we do our shows and disappear into the night. My philosophy was, this is like politics, and if I want people to know about my campaign, I'm going to go out there and shake hands.
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I was not a silly kid or outgoing. In fact, I suffered from quite a bit of anxiety. I used to have panic attacks when I was a teenager, really incapacitating moments, because I had some phobias.
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I'm not racist, I've got a black president.
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I live my life like there's no yesterday.
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My mom and dad passed away from cancer. Within nine months, I lost both of my folks. Immediately after that, I had a horrible betrayal where my brother, who worked for me, stole a lot of my money. He's in jail now.
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I say God bless you... I don't say bless you... I'm not the Lord. I can't do that...
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When I first hit the scene, it was just a lot of go, go, go, go, go. I have a lot of natural energy anyway, but it was over the top.
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I think that people who do enjoy my stand-up comedy and the people who get it and the people who are taken in by it, they see that I'm a guy that has love of the game.
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That MySpace is the story of the year. Everyone but my mother is on it.
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On stage I am the actor, director and the bouncer all at the same time. Fear does not exist in this dojo does it? No Sensi! Sorry when I get excited I have to toss in some Karate Kid quotes.
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I always wanted to be a snake. Every time I saw a snake on TV. I'd always say 'Why not me?'
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We're all gonna lie, we're all gonna cry, and we're all gonna take painful shits.
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If you take a negative, turn it inside out, it's still a negative. You're just revealing the ugly inside of negative so I say keep it as is.
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I love singing along to the radio while I'm riding in the back of a squad car.
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I love hecklers. They remind you that you are a comedian.
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I have a new saying, what I see in Vegas, I am telling everybody.
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There were times, earlier in my career, where I didn't have the wherewithal to self-edit, and I probably said things and pushed the limits to places where people might be put off. But that's truly part of developing as an artist.
Dane Cook
Let's talk a little about love. Sometimes you meet somebody and you have what is known as a relationship and things can go great. If things go great you have a great relationship. Sometimes it doesn't go so great and I call that a relationshit!
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I don't laugh out loud at comics a lot.
Dane Cook
It's an incredible feeling falling in love someone who doesn't know you exist.
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