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Every joke has its origin - the punching people in the face joke. It hurts like hell to get punched in the face.

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Hell
Hurt
Face
Punched
Faces
Punching
Every
Origin
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Hurts
People
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Jokes

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I've always read books and loved human behavior since I was ten or twelve years old. Maybe even that's why I wanted to do comedy.
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You can't become tempted if you just give in a little quicker.
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When you are doing stand-up comedy, you are the writer, producer, director, sometimes bouncer.
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I won't take no for a question.
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Pain only hurts when you are looking for a reason to quit. You don't feel a thing when you know you can still win.
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When you hand someone a camera, why do they act like you just asked them to dissemble a bomb? They take it and they're like, 'What do I do ... I don't really ... ha-huh ...' Yeah, it's the button on the top right where it always is since the beginning of #*@! time!
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When you see somebody walking down the street wearing a Superman t-shirt, you just want to shoot them in the chest ... when they start to bleed go, I guess not
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Losing my mind sounds so pessimistic. I prefer the term winning my insanity.
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Strip clubs are great places to meet interesting people you only wanna know for about 40 minutes.
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If you take a negative, turn it inside out, it's still a negative. You're just revealing the ugly inside of negative so I say keep it as is.
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I get so into the moment.
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A lot of comics are kind of vampire types we do our shows and disappear into the night. My philosophy was, this is like politics, and if I want people to know about my campaign, I'm going to go out there and shake hands.
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I was not a silly kid or outgoing. In fact, I suffered from quite a bit of anxiety. I used to have panic attacks when I was a teenager, really incapacitating moments, because I had some phobias.
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On stage I am the actor, director and the bouncer all at the same time. Fear does not exist in this dojo does it? No Sensi! Sorry when I get excited I have to toss in some Karate Kid quotes.
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I have never even had a sip of alcohol, never have done drugs. The hardest thing I have ever done would be Pepsi.
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You can easily tell if a person is lying and cheating on you if they say, I love you. I would never lie to you or cheat on you.
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I always wanted to be a snake. Every time I saw a snake on TV. I'd always say 'Why not me?'
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Sometimes, when you want to make a difference in a person's life, stay out of it.
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You know your girls up to no good when her and her friends make a pact to post nothing on Instagram.
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I don't laugh out loud at comics a lot.
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