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Strip clubs are great places to meet interesting people you only wanna know for about 40 minutes.

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
People
Strip
Wanna
Clubs
Places
Meet
Minutes
Interesting
Great

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You need to open up your soul and have a weep-a-thon.
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On stage I am the actor, director and the bouncer all at the same time. Fear does not exist in this dojo does it? No Sensi! Sorry when I get excited I have to toss in some Karate Kid quotes.
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Vince Vaughn is a genuine person, awesome guy. He'll come to a lot of my shows. It's not that often that you can meet someone as cool as Vince.
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When someone's running late through an airport, I hope they miss their flight so they can meet the love of their life at the duty free shop.
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I was being chased by a giant crab. That's not funny.
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I have new ideas every day, and I always want to take on new challenges.
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When you get hit by a car sometimes your shoes will fly off, sometimes your pants will come off, but I was not fortunate enough to see the pants portion.
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When you are doing stand-up comedy, you are the writer, producer, director, sometimes bouncer.
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You have to learn the crowd. I just pay attention to them so I can make sure I can make them laugh.
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I am an observer, I like to watch people. I am into psychology and people - how they act and such.
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I'm quitting the business today. I'm going to open up an appliance store, I've always really been into toasters. I'm giving it all up.
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It's not for any purpose such as religion, health, or things like that, I just never felt I had the need or want to drink or do drugs.
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Ma'am, are you trying to molest me via drivethru?
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Comedy is immediate. Comedy is a solo mission. You're all by yourself, up there. And when you're in a film, on a set, it's a collaborative effort. It's about me being a tool for somebody else to create a story and a character from nothing, from their imagination.
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Ex-girlfriends will find themselves in my new routine. Sometimes they like that, and sometimes they definitely do not. But comedians should come with a giant warning or disclaimer: IF YOU DATE ME, IT WILL BE IN MY ACT.
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When I'm looking for hot button answers to tough questions, I don't look to congressman or my mayor. I say, 'What would Miss U.S.A. have to say about this?'
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There was a girl I loved in high school - but never spoke to. Cut to my five-year reunion: I'm an entirely different person.
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I can do more than just stand-up comedy, and the only way I'll be able to show that is if I do it myself. Because nobody trusts that I can do it.
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We all hope for breakthrough rebirth moments.
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We're all gonna lie, we're all gonna cry, and we're all gonna take painful shits.
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