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I was home educated but would skip my lessons to go hang out at school.

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Home
Would
Skip
Hang
Educated
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School

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Even when I go to a salad bar, I need to feel like I'm one of the first people there.
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I say God bless you... I don't say bless you... I'm not the Lord. I can't do that...
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When you get hit by a car sometimes your shoes will fly off, sometimes your pants will come off, but I was not fortunate enough to see the pants portion.
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I was very good at kickball ... I was wonderful at ah doing that kick and your leg goes up and your shoe went on top of the school
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Sometimes sex is just a way to escape having to talk to that person.
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If you think your demeanor is mellow or not particularly charismatic, the material can life you higher. So write everyday, and get onstage or in a coffee shop where they are doing open mice, anywhere you can perform even if that means starting your own open mic night - and be your own self.
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When you swear to God, its true ... right now God is watching and saying, this is true.
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I'm bringing back the skinny tie but wearing it tied around my balls.
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I think beating someone to death with a ukulele would just sound funny.
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It's hard dealing with day to day disappointments and feeling like you can't find success. Especially when your best friend is Pixar.
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I was doing comedy in laundry mats in 1992, literally where I would bring a little gorilla amp and a lapel mike and just start performing.
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When I first hit the scene, it was just a lot of go, go, go, go, go. I have a lot of natural energy anyway, but it was over the top.
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Listening to Evanescence makes me want to break up with a girl in real time as a giant antique hourglass falls to the floor in slow motion.
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I have a new saying, what I see in Vegas, I am telling everybody.
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Pain only hurts when you are looking for a reason to quit. You don't feel a thing when you know you can still win.
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Vince Vaughn is a genuine person, awesome guy. He'll come to a lot of my shows. It's not that often that you can meet someone as cool as Vince.
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If haters or whatever want to find you - I mean, some of them are so tenacious. You want to hire them to work for you. Theyre very, very savvy in terms of how they find you and get to you.
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I was being chased by a giant crab. That's not funny.
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Sometimes, when a person gains a lot of success at a very young age, they become targets, and it's really easy to follow the crowds and not make independent decisions based on truly how you feel.
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You have to learn the crowd. I just pay attention to them so I can make sure I can make them laugh.
Dane Cook