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I was home educated but would skip my lessons to go hang out at school.

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Home
Would
Skip
Hang
Educated
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School

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Created a word game to play with a person you're fighting with. Silent Treatment. Nothing happens until one of you quietly says, Hey, you hungry?
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When you hand someone a camera, why do they act like you just asked them to dissemble a bomb? They take it and they're like, 'What do I do ... I don't really ... ha-huh ...' Yeah, it's the button on the top right where it always is since the beginning of #*@! time!
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Christina can sing all the notes, but Britney is just hot!
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When someone's running late through an airport, I hope they miss their flight so they can meet the love of their life at the duty free shop.
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They used to beat me up after Sunday School, I used to get beat up... yeah, that's a nice little thank you from Jesus.
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Pain only hurts when you are looking for a reason to quit. You don't feel a thing when you know you can still win.
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Hi, I'm a buck tooth and I like to be outside past the lips.
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Even when I go to a salad bar, I need to feel like I'm one of the first people there.
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I'm shooting a pilot based on my show. It's a one-camera show. I play myself.
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I once overheard the sweetest old woman behind me on a train tell her adorable old husband as he scoffed down a ham sandwich she had brought along, If you ever yell at me to stop bringing a ham sandwich with me every where we go again? Next time I'm bringing a gun. And I'm blowing your God damn head off.
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I'm not giving up on life. I'm giving up on today.
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I can't watch a woman play with herself - to me, it looks like a DJ working the turntables... DJ Diddles.
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My mom and dad passed away from cancer. Within nine months, I lost both of my folks. Immediately after that, I had a horrible betrayal where my brother, who worked for me, stole a lot of my money. He's in jail now.
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When somebody says I wouldn't change a thing they're thinking of something they would change.
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You know your gut instincts are spot on about a person when you can also detect a water source in the soil beneath them.
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Sometimes, when you want to make a difference in a person's life, stay out of it.
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I miss dating only for that final moment you kiss goodnight, watch her get out of your car and run into the police station.
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I would love to have acidy spit.
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When you're on a movie set and you are hopefully making a comedy, everyone's stifling their laughter. You're looking at the crew guys, hoping someone is making that face like, and not like, this is not working out, man.
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The whole thing with comedy is that you are always in control. Writer, director, actor, producer, and sometimes bouncer. And you are just a piece of their puzzle.
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