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Sometimes sex is just a way to escape having to talk to that person.
Dane Cook
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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Sometimes
Way
Escape
Sex
Talk
Persons
Person
More quotes by Dane Cook
I say it with my tongue firmly planted in cheek but there's truth to it - being a comedian is very close to being a therapist. When you're working smaller clubs, you're listening. You're feeling an energy, you're going with a tone but when people start yelling out, you almost start a conversation with people.
Dane Cook
Video games don't make people go nuts. I played Super Mario forever. Not once hopping on a turtle or smash my head through a brick ceiling.
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My mom and dad passed away from cancer. Within nine months, I lost both of my folks. Immediately after that, I had a horrible betrayal where my brother, who worked for me, stole a lot of my money. He's in jail now.
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I have new ideas every day, and I always want to take on new challenges.
Dane Cook
Quote/Unquote and you can quote me on the quote/unquote.
Dane Cook
If haters or whatever want to find you - I mean, some of them are so tenacious. You want to hire them to work for you. Theyre very, very savvy in terms of how they find you and get to you.
Dane Cook
I can't do anything! I can't even have an English muffin!
Dane Cook
Listening to Evanescence makes me want to break up with a girl in real time as a giant antique hourglass falls to the floor in slow motion.
Dane Cook
If you take a negative, turn it inside out, it's still a negative. You're just revealing the ugly inside of negative so I say keep it as is.
Dane Cook
There was a girl I loved in high school - but never spoke to. Cut to my five-year reunion: I'm an entirely different person.
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When you're not in love, when you don't have love, everybody you know falls in love.
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Every joke has its origin - the punching people in the face joke. It hurts like hell to get punched in the face.
Dane Cook
If you have to be at work at 8, it's always like, 7:54. Just enough time to do nothing. To just lay there and go, I can't do anything! I can't even have an English muffin!
Dane Cook
If you live far away from a person you no longer want to date just let them know that they are geographically undesirable.
Dane Cook
Nothing is a better icebreaker than a great joke.
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I think beating someone to death with a ukulele would just sound funny.
Dane Cook
I'm shooting a pilot based on my show. It's a one-camera show. I play myself.
Dane Cook
When you get hit by a car sometimes your shoes will fly off, sometimes your pants will come off, but I was not fortunate enough to see the pants portion.
Dane Cook
I don't know if I could rebuild an airplane engine, but I know a little bit about rotors and rivets.
Dane Cook
My professional dreams were coming true while I was living a personal nightmare.
Dane Cook