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Sometimes sex is just a way to escape having to talk to that person.

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Escape
Sex
Talk
Persons
Person
Sometimes
Way

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When you don't have love, it's like there's a party going on, and everybody was invited, except for you. And you just happened to be walking by that house in the rain...
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We're all gonna lie, we're all gonna cry, and we're all gonna take painful shits.
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Pain only hurts when you are looking for a reason to quit. You don't feel a thing when you know you can still win.
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I live my life like there's no yesterday.
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When you are doing stand-up comedy, you are the writer, producer, director, sometimes bouncer.
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I have faith in all mankind. Well,not faith really, more like hopeful suspicion. And not all but 5 people. Mankind meaning computers.
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I have new ideas every day, and I always want to take on new challenges.
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It's not for any purpose such as religion, health, or things like that, I just never felt I had the need or want to drink or do drugs.
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I don't know if I could rebuild an airplane engine, but I know a little bit about rotors and rivets.
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Drive, ego and cocksureness are all essential elements in terms of getting exactly what you want but losing everything you've got.
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When you see somebody walking down the street wearing a Superman t-shirt, you just want to shoot them in the chest ... when they start to bleed go, I guess not
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You can't teach an old hater new truths.
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When you're on a movie set and you are hopefully making a comedy, everyone's stifling their laughter. You're looking at the crew guys, hoping someone is making that face like, and not like, this is not working out, man.
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I miss dating only for that final moment you kiss goodnight, watch her get out of your car and run into the police station.
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I don't have to do anything for anyone else's benefit anymore. I just want to exceed my own expectations.
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If you think your demeanor is mellow or not particularly charismatic, the material can life you higher. So write everyday, and get onstage or in a coffee shop where they are doing open mice, anywhere you can perform even if that means starting your own open mic night - and be your own self.
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I'm bringing back the skinny tie but wearing it tied around my balls.
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They used to beat me up after Sunday School, I used to get beat up... yeah, that's a nice little thank you from Jesus.
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Nice teeth is a turn on for me. If you open your mouth and it looks like a battle of epic proportions, I don't like it.
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Three weeks ago one of my dreams came true. I finally got to see something I always wanted to witness live. I finally saw someone get hit by a car... Nailed!
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