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I live my life like there's no yesterday.

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Yesterday
Live
Life
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More quotes by Dane Cook

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When you are doing stand-up comedy, you are the writer, producer, director, sometimes bouncer.
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Vince Vaughn is a genuine person, awesome guy. He'll come to a lot of my shows. It's not that often that you can meet someone as cool as Vince.
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Jim Norton and Harland Williams always make me laugh.
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We're all gonna lie, we're all gonna cry, and we're all gonna take painful shits.
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I've lived (in LA) for so long, I don't even know what is real and what isn't anymore.
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I love hecklers. They remind you that you are a comedian.
Dane Cook
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I have never even had a sip of alcohol, never have done drugs. The hardest thing I have ever done would be Pepsi.
Dane Cook
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I miss dating only for that final moment you kiss goodnight, watch her get out of your car and run into the police station.
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It's amazing how dumb people can impress you with how much stupider they can be when they really assert themselves.
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You know your gut instincts are spot on about a person when you can also detect a water source in the soil beneath them.
Dane Cook
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If haters or whatever want to find you - I mean, some of them are so tenacious. You want to hire them to work for you. Theyre very, very savvy in terms of how they find you and get to you.
Dane Cook
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I was being chased by a giant crab. That's not funny.
Dane Cook
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I think that people who do enjoy my stand-up comedy and the people who get it and the people who are taken in by it, they see that I'm a guy that has love of the game.
Dane Cook
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When you swear to God, its true ... right now God is watching and saying, this is true.
Dane Cook
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On stage I am the actor, director and the bouncer all at the same time. Fear does not exist in this dojo does it? No Sensi! Sorry when I get excited I have to toss in some Karate Kid quotes.
Dane Cook
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When you see somebody walking down the street wearing a Superman t-shirt, you just want to shoot them in the chest ... when they start to bleed go, I guess not
Dane Cook
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I always thought that if I got no love at all early in my standup career, or I was god awful, I thought I'd get into psychology.
Dane Cook
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I'm quitting the business today. I'm going to open up an appliance store, I've always really been into toasters. I'm giving it all up.
Dane Cook
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I can't do anything! I can't even have an English muffin!
Dane Cook
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If my voice can resonate that way with kids, maybe it will resonate through 'Planes' as well, and they'll hear that little something that I'm giving to them, a performance that says to them, I want to try. It's all interconnected. I don't think it's thinking too deeply about it.
Dane Cook