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I live my life like there's no yesterday.
Dane Cook
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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Life
Like
Yesterday
Live
More quotes by Dane Cook
You have to learn the crowd. I just pay attention to them so I can make sure I can make them laugh.
Dane Cook
Jim Norton and Harland Williams always make me laugh.
Dane Cook
I was doing comedy in laundry mats in 1992, literally where I would bring a little gorilla amp and a lapel mike and just start performing.
Dane Cook
I could take my time, and nobody was pressuring me to be a headliner. I could go up there, find my voice, and figure out what I wanted to do.
Dane Cook
Text a guy you like right now, I'm thinking about you. If he says, mmm are you in bed? Never speak to him again he's a lifelong moron.
Dane Cook
Are there glass shards in my anus?!
Dane Cook
The whole thing with comedy is that you are always in control. Writer, director, actor, producer, and sometimes bouncer. And you are just a piece of their puzzle.
Dane Cook
When you hand someone a camera, why do they act like you just asked them to dissemble a bomb? They take it and they're like, 'What do I do ... I don't really ... ha-huh ...' Yeah, it's the button on the top right where it always is since the beginning of #*@! time!
Dane Cook
Ma'am, are you trying to molest me via drivethru?
Dane Cook
We're all gonna lie, we're all gonna cry, and we're all gonna take painful shits.
Dane Cook
It's hard dealing with day to day disappointments and feeling like you can't find success. Especially when your best friend is Pixar.
Dane Cook
Christina can sing all the notes, but Britney is just hot!
Dane Cook
When you swear to God, its true ... right now God is watching and saying, this is true.
Dane Cook
Sometimes, when a person gains a lot of success at a very young age, they become targets, and it's really easy to follow the crowds and not make independent decisions based on truly how you feel.
Dane Cook
I don't know if I could rebuild an airplane engine, but I know a little bit about rotors and rivets.
Dane Cook
I feel like I was born and bred to stay self-motivated. I'm not one of those people who ho-hums and feels sorry for himself when something's bad.
Dane Cook
On stage I am the actor, director and the bouncer all at the same time. Fear does not exist in this dojo does it? No Sensi! Sorry when I get excited I have to toss in some Karate Kid quotes.
Dane Cook
If haters or whatever want to find you - I mean, some of them are so tenacious. You want to hire them to work for you. Theyre very, very savvy in terms of how they find you and get to you.
Dane Cook
When someone's running late through an airport, I hope they miss their flight so they can meet the love of their life at the duty free shop.
Dane Cook
I love being on stage if I'm not on a set. If I'm at home, I'm usually in my office editing or reconstructing my website or whatever it may be. I just love putting creativity into a performance.
Dane Cook