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I live my life like there's no yesterday.

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Life
Like
Yesterday
Live

More quotes by Dane Cook

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It's amazing how dumb people can impress you with how much stupider they can be when they really assert themselves.
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I'm a late-night guy.
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If haters or whatever want to find you - I mean, some of them are so tenacious. You want to hire them to work for you. Theyre very, very savvy in terms of how they find you and get to you.
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Nice teeth is a turn on for me. If you open your mouth and it looks like a battle of epic proportions, I don't like it.
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It's not for any purpose such as religion, health, or things like that, I just never felt I had the need or want to drink or do drugs.
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I say God bless you... I don't say bless you... I'm not the Lord. I can't do that...
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Here's how you know that you're really drunk: when you get into a taxi cab and you think the fare is the time.
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We're all gonna lie, we're all gonna cry, and we're all gonna take painful shits.
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I can do more than just stand-up comedy, and the only way I'll be able to show that is if I do it myself. Because nobody trusts that I can do it.
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I feel like I was born and bred to stay self-motivated. I'm not one of those people who ho-hums and feels sorry for himself when something's bad.
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I don't get any anxiety. I don't because of two reasons. Number one, just breaking through it as a kid and finally getting past it was like okay, nothing's ever going to feel that scary again as that deafening silence of a joke not working. Any joke not working is not as bad as not being able to even try and get on stage.
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I can't watch a woman play with herself - to me, it looks like a DJ working the turntables... DJ Diddles.
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I have never even had a sip of alcohol, never have done drugs. The hardest thing I have ever done would be Pepsi.
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I can't do anything! I can't even have an English muffin!
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When you're not in love, when you don't have love, everybody you know falls in love.
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I love hecklers. They remind you that you are a comedian.
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Ma'am, are you trying to molest me via drivethru?
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I always wanted to be a snake. Every time I saw a snake on TV. I'd always say 'Why not me?'
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When I'm wrong I'm like the Emperor on the Death Star thinking he'll turn Luke. Yet, when I'm right I'm a Jedi like my father before me.
Dane Cook
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There was a girl I loved in high school - but never spoke to. Cut to my five-year reunion: I'm an entirely different person.
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