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I think beating someone to death with a ukulele would just sound funny.
Dane Cook
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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Think
Ukulele
Thinking
Beating
Sound
Funny
Death
Someone
Would
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When somebody says I wouldn't change a thing they're thinking of something they would change.
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Quote/Unquote and you can quote me on the quote/unquote.
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I'm shooting a pilot based on my show. It's a one-camera show. I play myself.
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It's not for any purpose such as religion, health, or things like that, I just never felt I had the need or want to drink or do drugs.
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Here's how you know that you're really drunk: when you get into a taxi cab and you think the fare is the time.
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Video games don't make people go nuts. I played Super Mario forever. Not once hopping on a turtle or smash my head through a brick ceiling.
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If you have to be at work at 8, it's always like, 7:54. Just enough time to do nothing. To just lay there and go, I can't do anything! I can't even have an English muffin!
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Vince Vaughn is a genuine person, awesome guy. He'll come to a lot of my shows. It's not that often that you can meet someone as cool as Vince.
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I say God bless you... I don't say bless you... I'm not the Lord. I can't do that...
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I was not a silly kid or outgoing. In fact, I suffered from quite a bit of anxiety. I used to have panic attacks when I was a teenager, really incapacitating moments, because I had some phobias.
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I think that people who do enjoy my stand-up comedy and the people who get it and the people who are taken in by it, they see that I'm a guy that has love of the game.
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