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I think beating someone to death with a ukulele would just sound funny.
Dane Cook
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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Think
Thinking
Ukulele
Beating
Sound
Funny
Death
Someone
Would
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Text a guy you like right now, I'm thinking about you. If he says, mmm are you in bed? Never speak to him again he's a lifelong moron.
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I have faith in all mankind. Well,not faith really, more like hopeful suspicion. And not all but 5 people. Mankind meaning computers.
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Created a word game to play with a person you're fighting with. Silent Treatment. Nothing happens until one of you quietly says, Hey, you hungry?
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I always wanted to be a snake. Every time I saw a snake on TV. I'd always say 'Why not me?'
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When you don't have love, it's like there's a party going on, and everybody was invited, except for you. And you just happened to be walking by that house in the rain...
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Vince Vaughn is a genuine person, awesome guy. He'll come to a lot of my shows. It's not that often that you can meet someone as cool as Vince.
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I say God bless you... I don't say bless you... I'm not the Lord. I can't do that...
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I'm bringing back the skinny tie but wearing it tied around my balls.
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Dear semi hot girl taking photos on a boat. It's not your boat so stop acting like you own it. You drive a used Civic.
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If my voice can resonate that way with kids, maybe it will resonate through 'Planes' as well, and they'll hear that little something that I'm giving to them, a performance that says to them, I want to try. It's all interconnected. I don't think it's thinking too deeply about it.
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You have to learn the crowd. I just pay attention to them so I can make sure I can make them laugh.
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I would love to have acidy spit.
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I get so into the moment.
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I was home educated but would skip my lessons to go hang out at school.
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Quote/Unquote and you can quote me on the quote/unquote.
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I can't watch a woman play with herself - to me, it looks like a DJ working the turntables... DJ Diddles.
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Nice teeth is a turn on for me. If you open your mouth and it looks like a battle of epic proportions, I don't like it.
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It's not for any purpose such as religion, health, or things like that, I just never felt I had the need or want to drink or do drugs.
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When somebody says I wouldn't change a thing they're thinking of something they would change.
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Why do bad guys in movies always love to whistle really slowly?
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