Quote

Text a guy you like right now, I'm thinking about you. If he says, mmm are you in bed? Never speak to him again he's a lifelong moron.

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Guy
Speak
Right
Never
Moron
Thinking
Lifelong
Like
Text
Bed
Says

More quotes by Dane Cook

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Every joke has its origin - the punching people in the face joke. It hurts like hell to get punched in the face.
Dane Cook
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I'm shooting a pilot based on my show. It's a one-camera show. I play myself.
Dane Cook
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I'm focused on staying as healthy as I can so I can work more.
Dane Cook
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When you see somebody walking down the street wearing a Superman t-shirt, you just want to shoot them in the chest ... when they start to bleed go, I guess not
Dane Cook
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I don't get any anxiety. I don't because of two reasons. Number one, just breaking through it as a kid and finally getting past it was like okay, nothing's ever going to feel that scary again as that deafening silence of a joke not working. Any joke not working is not as bad as not being able to even try and get on stage.
Dane Cook
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You need to open up your soul and have a weep-a-thon.
Dane Cook
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I say it with my tongue firmly planted in cheek but there's truth to it - being a comedian is very close to being a therapist. When you're working smaller clubs, you're listening. You're feeling an energy, you're going with a tone but when people start yelling out, you almost start a conversation with people.
Dane Cook
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Comedy is immediate. Comedy is a solo mission. You're all by yourself, up there. And when you're in a film, on a set, it's a collaborative effort. It's about me being a tool for somebody else to create a story and a character from nothing, from their imagination.
Dane Cook
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When you hand someone a camera, why do they act like you just asked them to dissemble a bomb? They take it and they're like, 'What do I do ... I don't really ... ha-huh ...' Yeah, it's the button on the top right where it always is since the beginning of #*@! time!
Dane Cook
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If you have to be at work at 8, it's always like, 7:54. Just enough time to do nothing. To just lay there and go, I can't do anything! I can't even have an English muffin!
Dane Cook
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Drive, ego and cocksureness are all essential elements in terms of getting exactly what you want but losing everything you've got.
Dane Cook
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Valentine's Day is a time to celebrate the joy of being in love. Unless you're single & lonely then it's called Laundry Day.
Dane Cook
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I'm not giving up on life. I'm giving up on today.
Dane Cook
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I am an observer, I like to watch people. I am into psychology and people - how they act and such.
Dane Cook
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There's always someone in every group of friends that nobody likes.
Dane Cook
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Dear semi hot girl taking photos on a boat. It's not your boat so stop acting like you own it. You drive a used Civic.
Dane Cook
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When someone's running late through an airport, I hope they miss their flight so they can meet the love of their life at the duty free shop.
Dane Cook
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Strip clubs are great places to meet interesting people you only wanna know for about 40 minutes.
Dane Cook
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I was very good at kickball ... I was wonderful at ah doing that kick and your leg goes up and your shoe went on top of the school
Dane Cook
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I live my life like there's no yesterday.
Dane Cook