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When someone's running late through an airport, I hope they miss their flight so they can meet the love of their life at the duty free shop.

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Love
Meet
Life
Missing
Late
Airport
Duty
Airports
Free
Shop
Hope
Shops
Running
Flight
Someone
Miss

More quotes by Dane Cook

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I once overheard the sweetest old woman behind me on a train tell her adorable old husband as he scoffed down a ham sandwich she had brought along, If you ever yell at me to stop bringing a ham sandwich with me every where we go again? Next time I'm bringing a gun. And I'm blowing your God damn head off.
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I'm always going to be someone that people enjoy watching.
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I've been ignoring my feelings lately. That works pretty well. Might also settle for less this week, just to try it out.
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I have faith in all mankind. Well,not faith really, more like hopeful suspicion. And not all but 5 people. Mankind meaning computers.
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I get so into the moment.
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When you see somebody walking down the street wearing a Superman t-shirt, you just want to shoot them in the chest ... when they start to bleed go, I guess not
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You have to realize, when you're a comedian, that you have to have a thick skin. And trust me, being onstage in front of people is already difficult enough. Somebody's personal attack in an email is not as hard as getting onstage.
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Jim Norton and Harland Williams always make me laugh.
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Nothing is a better icebreaker than a great joke.
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You know your gut instincts are spot on about a person when you can also detect a water source in the soil beneath them.
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I'm quitting the business today. I'm going to open up an appliance store, I've always really been into toasters. I'm giving it all up.
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I was very good at kickball ... I was wonderful at ah doing that kick and your leg goes up and your shoe went on top of the school
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When you don't have love, it's like there's a party going on, and everybody was invited, except for you. And you just happened to be walking by that house in the rain...
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There's always someone in every group of friends that nobody likes.
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I don't laugh out loud at comics a lot.
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You can't teach an old hater new truths.
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That MySpace is the story of the year. Everyone but my mother is on it.
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Why do bad guys in movies always love to whistle really slowly?
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Are there glass shards in my anus?!
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I'm not giving up on life. I'm giving up on today.
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