Quote

When someone's running late through an airport, I hope they miss their flight so they can meet the love of their life at the duty free shop.

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Late
Airport
Duty
Airports
Free
Shop
Hope
Shops
Running
Flight
Someone
Miss
Love
Meet
Life
Missing

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I have faith in all mankind. Well,not faith really, more like hopeful suspicion. And not all but 5 people. Mankind meaning computers.
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There's always someone in every group of friends that nobody likes.
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I get so into the moment.
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I love hecklers. They remind you that you are a comedian.
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I like to play guitar, jam out, play the blues, go watch movies. I love movies.
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We're all gonna lie, we're all gonna cry, and we're all gonna take painful shits.
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I think beating someone to death with a ukulele would just sound funny.
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On stage I am the actor, director and the bouncer all at the same time. Fear does not exist in this dojo does it? No Sensi! Sorry when I get excited I have to toss in some Karate Kid quotes.
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Listening to Evanescence makes me want to break up with a girl in real time as a giant antique hourglass falls to the floor in slow motion.
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Sometimes, when a person gains a lot of success at a very young age, they become targets, and it's really easy to follow the crowds and not make independent decisions based on truly how you feel.
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If you think your demeanor is mellow or not particularly charismatic, the material can life you higher. So write everyday, and get onstage or in a coffee shop where they are doing open mice, anywhere you can perform even if that means starting your own open mic night - and be your own self.
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You can't teach an old hater new truths.
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When you see somebody walking down the street wearing a Superman t-shirt, you just want to shoot them in the chest ... when they start to bleed go, I guess not
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You can easily tell if a person is lying and cheating on you if they say, I love you. I would never lie to you or cheat on you.
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If you're drunk please don't drive. If you're on shrooms please don't think Walmart's a prison for bad clothing that needs help escaping.
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You know your gut instincts are spot on about a person when you can also detect a water source in the soil beneath them.
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Pain only hurts when you are looking for a reason to quit. You don't feel a thing when you know you can still win.
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I was being chased by a giant crab. That's not funny.
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Even when I go to a salad bar, I need to feel like I'm one of the first people there.
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If you have to be at work at 8, it's always like, 7:54. Just enough time to do nothing. To just lay there and go, I can't do anything! I can't even have an English muffin!
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