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I'm not racist, I've got a black president.

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Racist
President
Black

More quotes by Dane Cook

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I don't hate anyone. I simply block them out using hellish visions in a blind white rage. But if I see them out I'm pleasant.
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We're all gonna lie, we're all gonna cry, and we're all gonna take painful shits.
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A lot of comics are kind of vampire types we do our shows and disappear into the night. My philosophy was, this is like politics, and if I want people to know about my campaign, I'm going to go out there and shake hands.
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I saw a young boy eating an ice cream cone, ... I smashed it in his face. You know that kid is going to remember me when he's 50.
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I'm always going to be someone that people enjoy watching.
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Are there glass shards in my anus?!
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It's not for any purpose such as religion, health, or things like that, I just never felt I had the need or want to drink or do drugs.
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We all hope for breakthrough rebirth moments.
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I have a new saying, what I see in Vegas, I am telling everybody.
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Sometimes sex is just a way to escape having to talk to that person.
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If you think your demeanor is mellow or not particularly charismatic, the material can life you higher. So write everyday, and get onstage or in a coffee shop where they are doing open mice, anywhere you can perform even if that means starting your own open mic night - and be your own self.
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Sometimes, when you want to make a difference in a person's life, stay out of it.
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I am going to name a group of my kids after my favorite cartoons, I am going to name them after Transformers.
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I live my life like there's no yesterday.
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I have faith in all mankind. Well,not faith really, more like hopeful suspicion. And not all but 5 people. Mankind meaning computers.
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I'm a deep thinker when it comes to shallow no brainers.
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I was home educated but would skip my lessons to go hang out at school.
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Nice teeth is a turn on for me. If you open your mouth and it looks like a battle of epic proportions, I don't like it.
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It's hard dealing with day to day disappointments and feeling like you can't find success. Especially when your best friend is Pixar.
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I love being on stage if I'm not on a set. If I'm at home, I'm usually in my office editing or reconstructing my website or whatever it may be. I just love putting creativity into a performance.
Dane Cook