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I'm not racist, I've got a black president.

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Racist
President
Black

More quotes by Dane Cook

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Nice teeth is a turn on for me. If you open your mouth and it looks like a battle of epic proportions, I don't like it.
Dane Cook
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I think beating someone to death with a ukulele would just sound funny.
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Created a word game to play with a person you're fighting with. Silent Treatment. Nothing happens until one of you quietly says, Hey, you hungry?
Dane Cook
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I don't have to do anything for anyone else's benefit anymore. I just want to exceed my own expectations.
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On stage I am the actor, director and the bouncer all at the same time. Fear does not exist in this dojo does it? No Sensi! Sorry when I get excited I have to toss in some Karate Kid quotes.
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We're all gonna lie, we're all gonna cry, and we're all gonna take painful shits.
Dane Cook
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There were times, earlier in my career, where I didn't have the wherewithal to self-edit, and I probably said things and pushed the limits to places where people might be put off. But that's truly part of developing as an artist.
Dane Cook
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You need to open up your soul and have a weep-a-thon.
Dane Cook
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When someone's running late through an airport, I hope they miss their flight so they can meet the love of their life at the duty free shop.
Dane Cook
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When I'm looking for hot button answers to tough questions, I don't look to congressman or my mayor. I say, 'What would Miss U.S.A. have to say about this?'
Dane Cook
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When you see somebody walking down the street wearing a Superman t-shirt, you just want to shoot them in the chest ... when they start to bleed go, I guess not
Dane Cook
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When you swear to God, its true ... right now God is watching and saying, this is true.
Dane Cook
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When you're on a movie set and you are hopefully making a comedy, everyone's stifling their laughter. You're looking at the crew guys, hoping someone is making that face like, and not like, this is not working out, man.
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The whole thing with comedy is that you are always in control. Writer, director, actor, producer, and sometimes bouncer. And you are just a piece of their puzzle.
Dane Cook
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I don't hate anyone. I simply block them out using hellish visions in a blind white rage. But if I see them out I'm pleasant.
Dane Cook
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I'm always going to be someone that people enjoy watching.
Dane Cook
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I could take my time, and nobody was pressuring me to be a headliner. I could go up there, find my voice, and figure out what I wanted to do.
Dane Cook
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When somebody says I wouldn't change a thing they're thinking of something they would change.
Dane Cook
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There's always someone in every group of friends that nobody likes.
Dane Cook
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Sometimes, when you want to make a difference in a person's life, stay out of it.
Dane Cook