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I am going to name a group of my kids after my favorite cartoons, I am going to name them after Transformers.

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
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Groups
Name
Names
Kids
Transformers
Going
Cartoons
Cartoon
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Ex-girlfriends will find themselves in my new routine. Sometimes they like that, and sometimes they definitely do not. But comedians should come with a giant warning or disclaimer: IF YOU DATE ME, IT WILL BE IN MY ACT.
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Valentine's Day is a time to celebrate the joy of being in love. Unless you're single & lonely then it's called Laundry Day.
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I miss dating only for that final moment you kiss goodnight, watch her get out of your car and run into the police station.
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Let's talk a little about love. Sometimes you meet somebody and you have what is known as a relationship and things can go great. If things go great you have a great relationship. Sometimes it doesn't go so great and I call that a relationshit!
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You know your girls up to no good when her and her friends make a pact to post nothing on Instagram.
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It's not for any purpose such as religion, health, or things like that, I just never felt I had the need or want to drink or do drugs.
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They used to beat me up after Sunday School, I used to get beat up... yeah, that's a nice little thank you from Jesus.
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People know I have a good time on stage. I love my life. I love my job.
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There's estrogen running through my veins!
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When I'm wrong I'm like the Emperor on the Death Star thinking he'll turn Luke. Yet, when I'm right I'm a Jedi like my father before me.
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When you are doing stand-up comedy, you are the writer, producer, director, sometimes bouncer.
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Hi, I'm a buck tooth and I like to be outside past the lips.
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You are the director of your own life story. Don't cast idiots or people will walk out during your 2nd act.
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Every joke has its origin - the punching people in the face joke. It hurts like hell to get punched in the face.
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I'm a late-night guy.
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A couple of days back, I got into a car accident. Not my fault. Even if it's not your fault, the other person gets out of their car and looks at you like it's your fault: Why did you stop at a red light and let me hit you doing 80!
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I am an observer, I like to watch people. I am into psychology and people - how they act and such.
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I say it with my tongue firmly planted in cheek but there's truth to it - being a comedian is very close to being a therapist. When you're working smaller clubs, you're listening. You're feeling an energy, you're going with a tone but when people start yelling out, you almost start a conversation with people.
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Three weeks ago one of my dreams came true. I finally got to see something I always wanted to witness live. I finally saw someone get hit by a car... Nailed!
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Strip clubs are great places to meet interesting people you only wanna know for about 40 minutes.
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