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I have never even had a sip of alcohol, never have done drugs. The hardest thing I have ever done would be Pepsi.
Dane Cook
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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Would
Alcohol
Hardest
Drug
Ever
Done
Even
Thing
Pepsi
Never
Drugs
More quotes by Dane Cook
When I first hit the scene, it was just a lot of go, go, go, go, go. I have a lot of natural energy anyway, but it was over the top.
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When you see somebody walking down the street wearing a Superman t-shirt, you just want to shoot them in the chest ... when they start to bleed go, I guess not
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I've always read books and loved human behavior since I was ten or twelve years old. Maybe even that's why I wanted to do comedy.
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You are the director of your own life story. Don't cast idiots or people will walk out during your 2nd act.
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I can't watch a woman play with herself - to me, it looks like a DJ working the turntables... DJ Diddles.
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When people refer to 'Back in the Day,' it was a Wednesday. Just a little fun fact for you.
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If you're drunk please don't drive. If you're on shrooms please don't think Walmart's a prison for bad clothing that needs help escaping.
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You can't become tempted if you just give in a little quicker.
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If you live far away from a person you no longer want to date just let them know that they are geographically undesirable.
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It's an incredible feeling falling in love someone who doesn't know you exist.
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You have to realize, when you're a comedian, that you have to have a thick skin. And trust me, being onstage in front of people is already difficult enough. Somebody's personal attack in an email is not as hard as getting onstage.
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Let's talk a little about love. Sometimes you meet somebody and you have what is known as a relationship and things can go great. If things go great you have a great relationship. Sometimes it doesn't go so great and I call that a relationshit!
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They used to beat me up after Sunday School, I used to get beat up... yeah, that's a nice little thank you from Jesus.
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You can't teach an old hater new truths.
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There's estrogen running through my veins!
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I'm shooting a pilot based on my show. It's a one-camera show. I play myself.
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I'm quitting the business today. I'm going to open up an appliance store, I've always really been into toasters. I'm giving it all up.
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I won't take no for a question.
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When you get hit by a car sometimes your shoes will fly off, sometimes your pants will come off, but I was not fortunate enough to see the pants portion.
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You know your gut instincts are spot on about a person when you can also detect a water source in the soil beneath them.
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