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I'm not giving up on life. I'm giving up on today.
Dane Cook
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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Today
Giving
Life
More quotes by Dane Cook
Pain only hurts when you are looking for a reason to quit. You don't feel a thing when you know you can still win.
Dane Cook
I am going to name a group of my kids after my favorite cartoons, I am going to name them after Transformers.
Dane Cook
Three weeks ago one of my dreams came true. I finally got to see something I always wanted to witness live. I finally saw someone get hit by a car... Nailed!
Dane Cook
I always thought that if I got no love at all early in my standup career, or I was god awful, I thought I'd get into psychology.
Dane Cook
When you get hit by a car sometimes your shoes will fly off, sometimes your pants will come off, but I was not fortunate enough to see the pants portion.
Dane Cook
On stage I am the actor, director and the bouncer all at the same time. Fear does not exist in this dojo does it? No Sensi! Sorry when I get excited I have to toss in some Karate Kid quotes.
Dane Cook
There's always someone in every group of friends that nobody likes.
Dane Cook
The whole thing with comedy is that you are always in control. Writer, director, actor, producer, and sometimes bouncer. And you are just a piece of their puzzle.
Dane Cook
I am an observer, I like to watch people. I am into psychology and people - how they act and such.
Dane Cook
I live my life like there's no yesterday.
Dane Cook
You know your gut instincts are spot on about a person when you can also detect a water source in the soil beneath them.
Dane Cook
You have to learn the crowd. I just pay attention to them so I can make sure I can make them laugh.
Dane Cook
I'm not racist, I've got a black president.
Dane Cook
I can smell bullshit from a mile away but it's so much harder to detect when it's around you all day.
Dane Cook
I think that people who do enjoy my stand-up comedy and the people who get it and the people who are taken in by it, they see that I'm a guy that has love of the game.
Dane Cook
I once overheard the sweetest old woman behind me on a train tell her adorable old husband as he scoffed down a ham sandwich she had brought along, If you ever yell at me to stop bringing a ham sandwich with me every where we go again? Next time I'm bringing a gun. And I'm blowing your God damn head off.
Dane Cook
I'm a deep thinker when it comes to shallow no brainers.
Dane Cook
Christina can sing all the notes, but Britney is just hot!
Dane Cook
That MySpace is the story of the year. Everyone but my mother is on it.
Dane Cook
I love hecklers. They remind you that you are a comedian.
Dane Cook