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I'm not giving up on life. I'm giving up on today.

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Today
Giving
Life

More quotes by Dane Cook

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Drive, ego and cocksureness are all essential elements in terms of getting exactly what you want but losing everything you've got.
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My mom and dad passed away from cancer. Within nine months, I lost both of my folks. Immediately after that, I had a horrible betrayal where my brother, who worked for me, stole a lot of my money. He's in jail now.
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On stage I am the actor, director and the bouncer all at the same time. Fear does not exist in this dojo does it? No Sensi! Sorry when I get excited I have to toss in some Karate Kid quotes.
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It's an incredible feeling falling in love someone who doesn't know you exist.
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There were times, earlier in my career, where I didn't have the wherewithal to self-edit, and I probably said things and pushed the limits to places where people might be put off. But that's truly part of developing as an artist.
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I always thought that if I got no love at all early in my standup career, or I was god awful, I thought I'd get into psychology.
Dane Cook
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Are there glass shards in my anus?!
Dane Cook
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When you swear to God, its true ... right now God is watching and saying, this is true.
Dane Cook
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A couple of days back, I got into a car accident. Not my fault. Even if it's not your fault, the other person gets out of their car and looks at you like it's your fault: Why did you stop at a red light and let me hit you doing 80!
Dane Cook
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If you live far away from a person you no longer want to date just let them know that they are geographically undesirable.
Dane Cook
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I would love to have acidy spit.
Dane Cook
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When I'm wrong I'm like the Emperor on the Death Star thinking he'll turn Luke. Yet, when I'm right I'm a Jedi like my father before me.
Dane Cook
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I have new ideas every day, and I always want to take on new challenges.
Dane Cook
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I've been ignoring my feelings lately. That works pretty well. Might also settle for less this week, just to try it out.
Dane Cook
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When people refer to 'Back in the Day,' it was a Wednesday. Just a little fun fact for you.
Dane Cook
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I just get excited doing shows. Off stage I am actually very feeble and must be spoon-fed because my hands are too brittle.
Dane Cook
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We all hope for breakthrough rebirth moments.
Dane Cook
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Hi, I'm a buck tooth and I like to be outside past the lips.
Dane Cook
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Three weeks ago one of my dreams came true. I finally got to see something I always wanted to witness live. I finally saw someone get hit by a car... Nailed!
Dane Cook
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There's always someone in every group of friends that nobody likes.
Dane Cook