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I'm not giving up on life. I'm giving up on today.

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Today
Giving
Life

More quotes by Dane Cook

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When you hand someone a camera, why do they act like you just asked them to dissemble a bomb? They take it and they're like, 'What do I do ... I don't really ... ha-huh ...' Yeah, it's the button on the top right where it always is since the beginning of #*@! time!
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Let's talk a little about love. Sometimes you meet somebody and you have what is known as a relationship and things can go great. If things go great you have a great relationship. Sometimes it doesn't go so great and I call that a relationshit!
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You need to open up your soul and have a weep-a-thon.
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I just get excited doing shows. Off stage I am actually very feeble and must be spoon-fed because my hands are too brittle.
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I always thought that if I got no love at all early in my standup career, or I was god awful, I thought I'd get into psychology.
Dane Cook
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There's always someone in every group of friends that nobody likes.
Dane Cook
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When I'm wrong I'm like the Emperor on the Death Star thinking he'll turn Luke. Yet, when I'm right I'm a Jedi like my father before me.
Dane Cook
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You know your gut instincts are spot on about a person when you can also detect a water source in the soil beneath them.
Dane Cook
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You have to have a strong sense of humor to date me, and also know that you're probably going to be a part of the routine quite a bit.
Dane Cook
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I would love to have acidy spit.
Dane Cook
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I don't laugh out loud at comics a lot.
Dane Cook
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Are there glass shards in my anus?!
Dane Cook
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When you don't have love, it's like there's a party going on, and everybody was invited, except for you. And you just happened to be walking by that house in the rain...
Dane Cook
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When people refer to 'Back in the Day,' it was a Wednesday. Just a little fun fact for you.
Dane Cook
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If you take a negative, turn it inside out, it's still a negative. You're just revealing the ugly inside of negative so I say keep it as is.
Dane Cook
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It's hard dealing with day to day disappointments and feeling like you can't find success. Especially when your best friend is Pixar.
Dane Cook
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When you're on a movie set and you are hopefully making a comedy, everyone's stifling their laughter. You're looking at the crew guys, hoping someone is making that face like, and not like, this is not working out, man.
Dane Cook
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Nice teeth is a turn on for me. If you open your mouth and it looks like a battle of epic proportions, I don't like it.
Dane Cook
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Any guy that refers to dating women as the hunt or being on the prowl should be evaluated for a number of conditions.
Dane Cook
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When you're not in love, when you don't have love, everybody you know falls in love.
Dane Cook