Quote

Ex-girlfriends will find themselves in my new routine. Sometimes they like that, and sometimes they definitely do not. But comedians should come with a giant warning or disclaimer: IF YOU DATE ME, IT WILL BE IN MY ACT.

Dane Cook

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Definitely
Exes
Find
Giant
Come
Warning
Sometimes
Giants
Like
Date
Disclaimer
Routine
Disclaimers
Girlfriend
Girlfriends
Comedian
Comedians

More quotes by Dane Cook

Image
I was being chased by a giant crab. That's not funny.
Dane Cook
Image
Even when I go to a salad bar, I need to feel like I'm one of the first people there.
Dane Cook
Image
Comedy is immediate. Comedy is a solo mission. You're all by yourself, up there. And when you're in a film, on a set, it's a collaborative effort. It's about me being a tool for somebody else to create a story and a character from nothing, from their imagination.
Dane Cook
Image
I was home educated but would skip my lessons to go hang out at school.
Dane Cook
Image
Quote/Unquote and you can quote me on the quote/unquote.
Dane Cook
Image
They used to beat me up after Sunday School, I used to get beat up... yeah, that's a nice little thank you from Jesus.
Dane Cook
Image
Every joke has its origin - the punching people in the face joke. It hurts like hell to get punched in the face.
Dane Cook
Image
There were times, earlier in my career, where I didn't have the wherewithal to self-edit, and I probably said things and pushed the limits to places where people might be put off. But that's truly part of developing as an artist.
Dane Cook
Image
If you're drunk please don't drive. If you're on shrooms please don't think Walmart's a prison for bad clothing that needs help escaping.
Dane Cook
Image
People know I have a good time on stage. I love my life. I love my job.
Dane Cook
Image
If you think your demeanor is mellow or not particularly charismatic, the material can life you higher. So write everyday, and get onstage or in a coffee shop where they are doing open mice, anywhere you can perform even if that means starting your own open mic night - and be your own self.
Dane Cook
Image
I am going to name a group of my kids after my favorite cartoons, I am going to name them after Transformers.
Dane Cook
Image
Ma'am, are you trying to molest me via drivethru?
Dane Cook
Image
Jim Norton and Harland Williams always make me laugh.
Dane Cook
Image
Losing my mind sounds so pessimistic. I prefer the term winning my insanity.
Dane Cook
Image
When someone's running late through an airport, I hope they miss their flight so they can meet the love of their life at the duty free shop.
Dane Cook
Image
It's not for any purpose such as religion, health, or things like that, I just never felt I had the need or want to drink or do drugs.
Dane Cook
Image
I don't get any anxiety. I don't because of two reasons. Number one, just breaking through it as a kid and finally getting past it was like okay, nothing's ever going to feel that scary again as that deafening silence of a joke not working. Any joke not working is not as bad as not being able to even try and get on stage.
Dane Cook
Image
I've always read books and loved human behavior since I was ten or twelve years old. Maybe even that's why I wanted to do comedy.
Dane Cook
Image
When I first hit the scene, it was just a lot of go, go, go, go, go. I have a lot of natural energy anyway, but it was over the top.
Dane Cook