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If you think your demeanor is mellow or not particularly charismatic, the material can life you higher. So write everyday, and get onstage or in a coffee shop where they are doing open mice, anywhere you can perform even if that means starting your own open mic night - and be your own self.

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Life
Write
Particularly
Mellow
Night
Material
Onstage
Self
Everyday
Mice
Mean
Starting
Shop
Writing
Materials
Shops
Even
Higher
Perform
Mics
Think
Open
Anywhere
Demeanor
Thinking
Means
Coffee
Charismatic

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Ma'am, are you trying to molest me via drivethru?
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Valentine's Day is a time to celebrate the joy of being in love. Unless you're single & lonely then it's called Laundry Day.
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I say it with my tongue firmly planted in cheek but there's truth to it - being a comedian is very close to being a therapist. When you're working smaller clubs, you're listening. You're feeling an energy, you're going with a tone but when people start yelling out, you almost start a conversation with people.
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Listening to Evanescence makes me want to break up with a girl in real time as a giant antique hourglass falls to the floor in slow motion.
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Vince Vaughn is a genuine person, awesome guy. He'll come to a lot of my shows. It's not that often that you can meet someone as cool as Vince.
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I get so into the moment.
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I miss dating only for that final moment you kiss goodnight, watch her get out of your car and run into the police station.
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A couple of days back, I got into a car accident. Not my fault. Even if it's not your fault, the other person gets out of their car and looks at you like it's your fault: Why did you stop at a red light and let me hit you doing 80!
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Comedy is immediate. Comedy is a solo mission. You're all by yourself, up there. And when you're in a film, on a set, it's a collaborative effort. It's about me being a tool for somebody else to create a story and a character from nothing, from their imagination.
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When you are doing stand-up comedy, you are the writer, producer, director, sometimes bouncer.
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When I'm wrong I'm like the Emperor on the Death Star thinking he'll turn Luke. Yet, when I'm right I'm a Jedi like my father before me.
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You can't become tempted if you just give in a little quicker.
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I always thought that if I got no love at all early in my standup career, or I was god awful, I thought I'd get into psychology.
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I always wanted to be a snake. Every time I saw a snake on TV. I'd always say 'Why not me?'
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You know your gut instincts are spot on about a person when you can also detect a water source in the soil beneath them.
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Drive, ego and cocksureness are all essential elements in terms of getting exactly what you want but losing everything you've got.
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Nice teeth is a turn on for me. If you open your mouth and it looks like a battle of epic proportions, I don't like it.
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If you're drunk please don't drive. If you're on shrooms please don't think Walmart's a prison for bad clothing that needs help escaping.
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I can't do anything! I can't even have an English muffin!
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I don't hate anyone. I simply block them out using hellish visions in a blind white rage. But if I see them out I'm pleasant.
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